Well. For three years or so before the past three years, we talked pretty much every fuckin' day, dude. So yeah, it was a long three years. There were a million little things that it was like, "wow John would find this funny" or "Jade might like this" and neither of you were there to say those things to, you know? So they were words and conversations that went nowhere. There should be a word for that. For the conversations you never have, but that you would have had, if you'd been able to have them?

[ and the thing is, he'd never even fallen out of the habit. it'd been three years and still his first thought about certain things was john would or jade would. it had never gotten any better or any less there. ]