You...don't remember anything about those, do you? You know, never mind! We do not have to talk about the quadrants or like. Any of that. We can definitely ignore that because that is absolutely irrelevant here.
I mean. Yes. But do you remember what it was about? I am not sure I am qualified to talk about red romance and black romance and your weird troll culture but I can try.
Okay so. Don't get mad! I think it's kind of funny now so there is no reason to be mad about it! Haha. [Oh boy.] There were a lot of human and troll romantic shenanigans flying around, I think, and you were trying to tell me and Dave not to listen to Terezi and Vriska even though they were hitting on us, and I think maybe you were hitting on me, too? Even though I think you were maybe dating Terezi?
[Kill him.] But um! You also created a shipping chart for me, Dave, Rose and Jade. Actually I think you were going to explain quadrants and then you just started yelling at me about Vriska.
[ do you ever decide to do something and then immediately regret it? never before has karkat regretted agreeing to something as much as he regrets agreeing for john to tell him about this. he knew it would probably be terrible but
this is some next level terrible. ]
Hey. Egbert. Would you mind getting your giant hammer out and just smacking me across the fucking face with it.
I'm the one who has to live with this! Can you imagine being me, knowing that you made a ship chart for people! Oh my fuck, what if I start making them here?
Wait they are? [...huh. Guess that makes some sense even if he never thought of it.] You can't just keep two people on a shipping chart. That's the point of a chart? There are supposed to be multiple people. [...] Forget that I'm encouraging this.
No, no, it's too goddamn late now. You are an accomplice in this. I am cosigning your name on this chart and it's in permanent ink, John. There is absolutely no going back now.
I don't want to be an accomplice to this! [He's still laughing to himself though because out of everything this is probably the least stupid. God help Homestuck.] You may as well add Anya to that chart then since I am pretty sure more than enough people want to be shipped with her. [She's cute and she's an idol and Yato in Anya's body definitely punched someone following Anya, so.]
I'm serious, I do not actually have names. But if I ever do I'll let you know? That is definitely not the look of someone who is just curious though, Karkat.
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[ HE KNOWS HE'S GOING TO HATE THIS ]
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[ he sounds horrified. ]
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[ a pause. he knows that this will be terrible. ]
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[Kill him.] But um! You also created a shipping chart for me, Dave, Rose and Jade. Actually I think you were going to explain quadrants and then you just started yelling at me about Vriska.
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this is some next level terrible. ]
Hey. Egbert. Would you mind getting your giant hammer out and just smacking me across the fucking face with it.
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It's funny! You have to admit it's kind of funny to think about now, right? [John probably didn't think it was that funny back then but whatever.]
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[ he sounds so horrified.
and also intrigued. ]
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I mean I guess that is pretty terrible, yeah, but who would you even put on your ship chart in this lifetime?
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Fuck, I don't know. Yu and Yosuke? They're already dating though.
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No, no, it's too goddamn late now. You are an accomplice in this. I am cosigning your name on this chart and it's in permanent ink, John. There is absolutely no going back now.
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[ the way he asks this sounds less like a shipper and more like an older brother who wants to know who's flirting with his sister.
also he knows anya is fucking oblivious to this kind of thing. ]
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I just meant...in...general? I don't have specific names! [Eheheh.]
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[ says the guy who has a history of pesterlogs that are lies ]
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