Location: LOWAS (And Walkthrough) Convo: Pesterlog with Jade "ok sure i am convinced. you have me convinced. (PSYCHIC PSYCHIC PSYCHIC.) also i told you the package was in the car but i never mentioned that the game was there too. so kind of totally busted i guess." Convo: Pesterlog with Karkat "ok, this time i'll believe you that you aren't human. because the skepticism center of my brain is starting to wear kind of thin i guess. but you're still a major asshole and i don't actually want to talk to you, so bye." "friendship isn't an emotion fucknuts. " "YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONES PLAYING THE GAME. EVERY GROUP OF PLAYERS GETS THEIR OWN DISTINCT, BLANK SLATE SESSION. AS WILL BE EXPLAINED TO YOU MANY TIMES." Convo: Spritelog with Nanna "All the gates do, John. To ascend, each time you must first descend!" Action: See a fuckton of monsters in LOWAS and attack a fuckton of monsters in LOWAS Action: You could have sworn that strange man was holding your copy of Colonel Sassacre's Action: throw Barbasol Bomb into volcano OH GOD HOW CAN SHAVING CREAM BE SO FLAMMABLE Action: Behold the big gust of wind. Be rejoiced by salamanders Convo: Pesterlog with Rose "are you in kind of this spooky glowy place with oily rivers and stuff? let me know ok." "rose i feel weird when you're just TALKING to me, when you're watching me it's just like the weird frosting on the big weirdo cake." Convo: Pesterlog with Terezi "YOUR3 4 TOT4L D1SGR4C3 TO TH3 F13LD OF 3CTOB1OLOGY. 1F W3 3V3R M33T, 1M GO1NG TO CUT YOUR THRO4T 4ND L1ST3N TO YOU BL33D WH1L3 1 SM3LL YOU D13" Action: Change handle to ectoBiologist Item: Dad's car Convo: Pesterlog with Terezi "so you can "see" my whole future there, right? by just like, scrolling around on some computer thing that lets you pick what time to talk to me? how can you be bored by my long boring future, why don't you just scroll around to wherever you want like the other weirdos are doing?" Item: Terezi's map Action: Take shortcut Action: Reunite with your loving wife and daughter Convo: Pesterlog with Karkat "i am just acting out a scene from an awesome movie and having some fun, what's wrong with that?" "i don't know why you guys are doing this to yourselves. all this time jackassery, it's giving me a headache." "TELL HER TO POLISH MY HEAVING BONE BULGE AND SET A TABLE FOR FUCKING TWO ON IT. ITS FOR OUR CANDLE LIGHT HATE DATE." i like how you guys have basically resorted to trolling each other, through us." "FUCK YOU." Convo: Pesterlog with Terezi "JOHN STOP HUGG1NG THOS3 S4L4M4ND3RS 4ND B31NG SO STUPIDLY 4DOR4BLE. W3 4R3 ON 4 STR1CT CH3AT1NG T1M3T4BL3 H3R3." Location: Typheus's Palace "3V3RY PL4N3T H4S 4 D3N1Z3N TH4T L1V3S D33P UND3RGROUND SL33P1NG 4ND GU4RD1NG 4 HUG3 GR1ST HO4RD." "ok..." "TH3 W4Y DOWN TO 1TS L41R 1S THROUGH TH3 P4L4C3." "so you want me to go down there and kill him? won't that be, uh, kinda hard?" Convo: Pesterlog with Terezi "ok... but you can't just "subtract" object codes from other codes! it's like, mathematically, um...ambiguous. like just reverse AND/OR'ing the flower pot alone could make hundreds of possibilities." "1M G1V1NG 4LL TH3S3 COD3S TO OUR H4CK3R GUY" "oh man, you have a hacker?? i bet he is THE BEST!!!! hackers are always the best." Item: "Rocketpack" Convo: Pesterlog with Terezi cont'd. "well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. it was because shut up. shut up is why. i guess i'll make this rocket now. and see if this dumbass code actually does the trick." Item: Rocketpack Convo: Pesterlog with Dave "i don't know, just do what it says! it knows stuff about the game, so it probably knows better than i do...i gotta go! gonna blast off to the seventh gate. and, uh, win this game i guess." "ok well it definitely sounds like youre fucking something up over there but alright later" Item: Casey Action: Blastoff Convo: Pesterlog with Dave "ok its me from the future" "huh?" its me. i just appeared from the future wearing a rad suit. he says dont go or youre gonna die." "remember, you are talking to the pranking MASTER." "ok that was probably the dumbest thing you ever said just now" "if future you is real, then why don't you let me talk to him." "do you hear what youre saying oh my god. this guy is me if i get him to talk to you youre just talking to me again jesus it proves nothing" "if our friendship means anything youll listen to me and past dave" "just stay on the goddamn ground for fucks sake" "ok, i guess..." Item: Birthday letter from Dave Action: Reconsider Convo: Pesterlog with Dave "so you believe me then about future me and like him turning into a floating sword bird" "um... ok, i don't know anything about that... but it doesn't matter! you're my best bro, and if you say not to go then i won't go." Convo: Pesterlog with Karkat "what i mean is...are you in your house right now, or in one of your magical lands, or what? just curious cause you can see me, but i can't see or know anything about you!" "WE'RE HIDING IN THE VEIL. WHAT'S LEFT OF IT." "what's that?" "IT'S A HUGE BELT OF METEORS ORBITING WAY OUTSIDE SKAIA, BEYOND THE ORBIT OF THE PLANETS DIVIDING THE MEDIUM FROM THE FURTHEST RING WHERE DERSE ORBITS." "derse?" "THE DARK PLANET. PROSPIT'S THE LIGHT ONE NEAR SKAIA." "maybe there's something we can still do to stop it, if you just help us?" "I'M NOT WRONG, IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF ME, YOU FUCK UP ROYALLY, END OF STORY."
Convo: Pesterlog with Terezi "what's this?" "1T'S YOUR WORLD M4P W1TH YOUR S3COND G4T3 L4B3L3D SO YOU C4N GO TH3R3" "oh man, let me drop everything and go there, because i'm in such a huge hurry to take more of your advice!" Item: "LOWAS Map" Action: Enter Second Gate to LOLAR Item: Dr. Meowgon Spengler Convo: Pesterlog with Davesprite "the progression of gates is like this whole round robin thing cycling through each planet gate 2 on your planet leads to gate 2 on roses then you build up to gate 3 above her house which leads somewhere else on her planet you look for gate 4 somewhere there which leads to gate 4 above my house and so on." "oh yeah... you're the orange dave. hey no offense, but do you think i could talk to the real dave for a second?" god dammit i am the real dave you know the one who saved your life" "wow, calm down! i'm sorry, that's not really what i meant... i mean, of course you're a real dave, but what i mean is... the dave from my time is also my friend, and i guess he's in the same boat i'm in, not knowing stuff and all. and i'd feel bad keeping him out of the loop!"
"oh, hey. i think i pissed off your future self." "what did you do" "i said he wasn't the real dave." "ahahahahaha" "i think i might have really hurt his feelings though!" "pff dont worry about it" "why not?" "cause i wouldnt give a shit and hes me"
"hey dave..." "what" "in case i forgot to say so before... thanks for saving my life!" "yeah"
Convo: Pesterlog with Dave cont'd "ok i dont know what youre doing here but i think we can both agree that youve got to rummage through as much of her shit as possible before she wakes up" "isnt that your birthday package there" "oh, yeah, i think it might be." "maybe you should look at it i dont think it counts as snooping since its technically yours" "yeah, maybe. i wonder if she finished...she was so tight lipped about the damn thing! i am really curious."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ACT FOUR
Convo: Pesterlog with Jade "ok sure i am convinced. you have me convinced. (PSYCHIC PSYCHIC PSYCHIC.) also i told you the package was in the car but i never mentioned that the game was there too. so kind of totally busted i guess."
Convo: Pesterlog with Karkat "ok, this time i'll believe you that you aren't human. because the skepticism center of my brain is starting to wear kind of thin i guess. but you're still a major asshole and i don't actually want to talk to you, so bye."
"friendship isn't an emotion fucknuts. "
"YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONES PLAYING THE GAME. EVERY GROUP OF PLAYERS GETS THEIR OWN DISTINCT, BLANK SLATE SESSION. AS WILL BE EXPLAINED TO YOU MANY TIMES."
Convo: Spritelog with Nanna "All the gates do, John. To ascend, each time you must first descend!"
Action: See a fuckton of monsters in LOWAS and attack a fuckton of monsters in LOWAS
Action:
You could have sworn that strange man was holding your copy of Colonel Sassacre's
Action: throw Barbasol Bomb into volcano OH GOD HOW CAN SHAVING CREAM BE SO FLAMMABLE
Action: Behold the big gust of wind. Be rejoiced by salamanders
Convo: Pesterlog with Rose "are you in kind of this spooky glowy place with oily rivers and stuff? let me know ok."
"rose i feel weird when you're just TALKING to me, when you're watching me it's just like the weird frosting on the big weirdo cake."
Convo: Pesterlog with Terezi "YOUR3 4 TOT4L D1SGR4C3 TO TH3 F13LD OF 3CTOB1OLOGY. 1F W3 3V3R M33T, 1M GO1NG TO CUT YOUR THRO4T 4ND L1ST3N TO YOU BL33D WH1L3 1 SM3LL YOU D13"
Action: Change handle to ectoBiologist
Item: Dad's car
Convo: Pesterlog with Terezi "so you can "see" my whole future there, right? by just like, scrolling around on some computer thing that lets you pick what time to talk to me? how can you be bored by my long boring future, why don't you just scroll around to wherever you want like the other weirdos are doing?"
Item: Terezi's map
Action: Take shortcut
Action: Reunite with your loving wife and daughter
Convo: Pesterlog with Karkat "i am just acting out a scene from an awesome movie and having some fun, what's wrong with that?"
"i don't know why you guys are doing this to yourselves. all this time jackassery, it's giving me a headache."
"TELL HER TO POLISH MY HEAVING BONE BULGE AND SET A TABLE FOR FUCKING TWO ON IT. ITS FOR OUR CANDLE LIGHT HATE DATE." i like how you guys have basically resorted to trolling each other, through us." "FUCK YOU."
Convo: Pesterlog with Terezi "JOHN STOP HUGG1NG THOS3 S4L4M4ND3RS 4ND B31NG SO STUPIDLY 4DOR4BLE. W3 4R3 ON 4 STR1CT CH3AT1NG T1M3T4BL3 H3R3."
Location: Typheus's Palace "3V3RY PL4N3T H4S 4 D3N1Z3N TH4T L1V3S D33P UND3RGROUND SL33P1NG 4ND GU4RD1NG 4 HUG3 GR1ST HO4RD." "ok..." "TH3 W4Y DOWN TO 1TS L41R 1S THROUGH TH3 P4L4C3." "so you want me to go down there and kill him? won't that be, uh, kinda hard?"
Convo: Pesterlog with Terezi "ok... but you can't just "subtract" object codes from other codes! it's like, mathematically, um...ambiguous. like just reverse AND/OR'ing the flower pot alone could make hundreds of possibilities."
"1M G1V1NG 4LL TH3S3 COD3S TO OUR H4CK3R GUY" "oh man, you have a hacker?? i bet he is THE BEST!!!! hackers are always the best."
Item: "Rocketpack"
Convo: Pesterlog with Terezi cont'd. "well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. it was because shut up. shut up is why. i guess i'll make this rocket now. and see if this dumbass code actually does the trick."
Item: Rocketpack
Convo: Pesterlog with Dave "i don't know, just do what it says! it knows stuff about the game, so it probably knows better than i do...i gotta go! gonna blast off to the seventh gate. and, uh, win this game i guess." "ok well it definitely sounds like youre fucking something up over there but alright later"
Item: Casey
Action: Blastoff
Convo: Pesterlog with Dave "ok its me from the future" "huh?" its me. i just appeared from the future wearing a rad suit. he says dont go or youre gonna die."
"remember, you are talking to the pranking MASTER." "ok that was probably the dumbest thing you ever said just now" "if future you is real, then why don't you let me talk to him." "do you hear what youre saying oh my god. this guy is me if i get him to talk to you youre just talking to me again jesus it proves nothing"
"if our friendship means anything youll listen to me and past dave"
"just stay on the goddamn ground for fucks sake" "ok, i guess..."
Item: Birthday letter from Dave
Action: Reconsider
Convo: Pesterlog with Dave "so you believe me then about future me and like him turning into a floating sword bird" "um... ok, i don't know anything about that... but it doesn't matter! you're my best bro, and if you say not to go then i won't go."
Convo: Pesterlog with Karkat "what i mean is...are you in your house right now, or in one of your magical lands, or what? just curious cause you can see me, but i can't see or know anything about you!" "WE'RE HIDING IN THE VEIL. WHAT'S LEFT OF IT." "what's that?" "IT'S A HUGE BELT OF METEORS ORBITING WAY OUTSIDE SKAIA, BEYOND THE ORBIT OF THE PLANETS DIVIDING THE MEDIUM FROM THE FURTHEST RING WHERE DERSE ORBITS." "derse?" "THE DARK PLANET. PROSPIT'S THE LIGHT ONE NEAR SKAIA."
"maybe there's something we can still do to stop it, if you just help us?" "I'M NOT WRONG, IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF ME, YOU FUCK UP ROYALLY, END OF STORY."
REFERENCE: Recap of whole story up until now
Convo: Pesterlog with Terezi "what's this?" "1T'S YOUR WORLD M4P W1TH YOUR S3COND G4T3 L4B3L3D SO YOU C4N GO TH3R3" "oh man, let me drop everything and go there, because i'm in such a huge hurry to take more of your advice!"
Item: "LOWAS Map"
Action: Enter Second Gate to LOLAR
Item: Dr. Meowgon Spengler
Convo: Pesterlog with Davesprite "the progression of gates is like this whole round robin thing cycling through each planet gate 2 on your planet leads to gate 2 on roses then you build up to gate 3 above her house which leads somewhere else on her planet you look for gate 4 somewhere there which leads to gate 4 above my house and so on."
"oh yeah... you're the orange dave. hey no offense, but do you think i could talk to the real dave for a second?" god dammit i am the real dave you know the one who saved your life" "wow, calm down! i'm sorry, that's not really what i meant... i mean, of course you're a real dave, but what i mean is... the dave from my time is also my friend, and i guess he's in the same boat i'm in, not knowing stuff and all. and i'd feel bad keeping him out of the loop!"
"oh, hey. i think i pissed off your future self." "what did you do" "i said he wasn't the real dave." "ahahahahaha" "i think i might have really hurt his feelings though!" "pff dont worry about it" "why not?" "cause i wouldnt give a shit and hes me"
"hey dave..." "what" "in case i forgot to say so before... thanks for saving my life!" "yeah"
Convo: Pesterlog with Dave cont'd "ok i dont know what youre doing here but i think we can both agree that youve got to rummage through as much of her shit as possible before she wakes up"
"isnt that your birthday package there" "oh, yeah, i think it might be." "maybe you should look at it i dont think it counts as snooping since its technically yours" "yeah, maybe. i wonder if she finished...she was so tight lipped about the damn thing! i am really curious."
Location: Rose's room
Item: This Ocean Charles
Item: Bunny and birthday letter from Rose
Action: deploy Casey
Convo: Pesterlog with Kanaya "oh, yeah. that's me! i am the rose human. look at me, i am so smart with all these snooty words and complicated things to say. i am the queen of books."
Item: Fear No Anvil
Convo: Pesterlog with Davesprite "i thought you couldn't use hammers." "i cant. better be though got it from hephaestus" "who's that?" "really tough to kill dude" "you killed him for it?" "nope" "how'd you get it then?" "shenanigans" "ok."
Action: Prank Rose
Action: Blastoff with Dr. Meowgon
Location: Island on LOLAR
Action: Aggress monsters with Fear No Anvil
Action: Stand on platform and disappearify
Location: Ectobiology Lab
Item: Junior Ectobiologist's Lab Suit
Item: House-monitors
Action: Examine monitor 1 December 1995
Action: Create paradox ghost imprint of Nanna
Action: Examine monitor 4 December 1995
Action: Create paradox ghost imprint of Grandpa
Action: Examine monitor 3 December 1995
Action: Create paradox ghost imprint of Bro
Action: Examine monitor 2 April 1996
Action: Create paradox ghost imprint of Mom
Action: Create paradox clones of guardians
Action: Create paradox clones of betas
Convo: Pesterlog with Karkat "man, i've got to say i'm a little disappointed by this "masterful trolling" you were bragging about."
"I WAS SCROLLING BACK AND NOTICED YOU WERE IN THE VEIL." "whoa, i am?" "YEAH DUMBDUMB, YOU'RE TUMBLING AROUND ON A BIG GODDAMN METEOR. AND YOU JUST CREATED YOUNGER VERSIONS OF YOURSELVES AND YOUR GUARDIANS. PROBABLY BY MUCKING AROUND WITH THAT THING LIKE A DOOFUS."
"A PARADOX CLONE IS BY DEFINITION A CORRECTLY CLONED DUPLICATE THAT WILL INEVITABLY GO BACK IN TIME AND BECOME THE ORIGINAL TARGET THAT WAS CLONED."
Action: tend to little pink monkeys Jane and John
Action: tend to little pink monkey Dirk
Action: tend to little pink monkeys Dave and Jake
Convo: Pesterlog with Karkat "i was just looking at all these rascals, and i was wondering...how they go back in time and become us and stuff. does it have something to do with the reckoning?" "HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT." "you told me."
"YOU LOOK LIKE AN ELF." "that's bullshit!" "YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SHOULD BE BLOWING INTO A FUNNY LITTLE SHELL, AND LIMBERING UP FOR A SILLY COOKIE DANCE." "do you even have elves?" "YES, LET'S COMPARE WHICH FANTASY CREATURES THAT DON'T EXIST WE BOTH DO OR DON'T NOT HAVE. WHAT A GREAT FUCKING IDEA, JOHN!"
"YEAH, SO WHEN THE RECKONING STARTS HAPPENING, ALL THESE PARADOX CLONES GET SHIPPED OFF TO METEORS, FLUNG THROUGH SKAIAN DEFENSE PORTALS, AND SENT BACK TO EARTH. END OF STORY I GUESS. BYE." "wait!!! so that means... we are all sort of like superman? "
Convo: Pesterlog with Karkat "EB: i was sort of mulling it over while looking at all these babies with guns and sitting on ponies and things...and how the reckoning takes them back. and how you said our reckoning starts sooner." "YEAH." "are you sure it has to start so soon? can't we delay it?" "HAHAHAHA. IT STARTS IN A FEW MINUTES STUPID. SEE THAT COUNTDOWN CLOCK OVER THERE? YOU AREN'T DELAYING ANYTHING." "oh... dang! i guess i better get off this meteor then!"
"ok, well you keep saying how doomed we are and how all this bad stuff happens sooner, but you never say why! what happens in our game that's different from yours that makes things go so badly?" "JACK NOIR."
"OUR JACKS ARE THE SAME BUT DIFFERENT TOO. SAME GUY, DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES AND OUTCOMES."
"oh man, i just had THE BEST idea, this is so perfect. a blonde mother and daughter together, this is totally perfect."
Action: Reunite with your loving wife and daughter
Action: Descend Send the babies back and wake up