[He isn't even touching the "what if" yet. He doesn't know what to say about that and part of him wonders if he needs to talk to Dirk himself and get his thoughts on the matter. John isn't the Heart player so it's out of his domain of understanding. But he does understand what else she's saying.
He more than understands needing to move forward with something to save everyone, even if it scares him.]
Hey. [It's just a firm word to draw her to a stop before he shifts to look at her.] Being scared and running away are not the same thing. [And part of him thinks about how things went at home, too.] I really do not think your friends would blame you for being afraid of what this means when it sounds like Kyubey tricked all of you.
[...maybe he shouldn't ask this of her, but her answer will change his own response.] If you knew...if Kyubey approached you the first time and told you that your power would come from your soul, but that you would still be helping people by fighting the Nightmares, would you still have done it?
[deep down, Madoka knows — she's certain — that her friends would support her no matter what she chose to do. maybe ... it's more that she's not sure if she wouldn't blame herself.]
[but she seems almost startled by that question. give her a minute to think it over.]
I think ... I think if others were really hurting, and there was really something I could do to help ... then I would have done it.
[It's the answer he sort of knew that she would give. It's an answer he's all too familiar with and he thinks of other people who are just as self-sacrificing. Martyrs who were thrust into things without permission and have just accepted their fate.]
...someone very smart once told me something about how things work. [His words are careful then.] He said: "the thing about how things are "supposed to go" is that they're not always good, and they dont always have happy endings. A lot of deadend timelines had better things happen in them. More people survive or some different, better choices were made. But by the rules, those things did not count because they weren't how things were supposed to go."
And I think, maybe, because of your answer...you know that. Instinctually, I mean. Even knowing what you know now, you just said that you would still do it because you want to help. Because that is how things are supposed to go. But I also do not think this is the end. That's the thing about time and fate? It sounds very scary when you only know parts of it, but there's still the end to meet. So...I think there is still time and a way to find a solution. There has to be a third option outside of letting this happen to you and not letting it happen at all.
It may just need to be something unexpected. "Something that works outside of things." [That part wasn't supposed to be directly quoted, but it is something he has given thought to for some time.]
Dirk is still new to his aspect, but I don't think that will stop him from trying to find an answer. Just like I do not think you will stop being a magical girl who wants to help. And just like I think you will not stop being yourself just because your soul isn't in your body. It's. Still yours, isn't it? It's still in your hands. [Like...literally.] It is still yours to decide what to do with, and I know you want to help but don't forget there are people that will help you, too. No matter what you decide.
[John is right — he is absolutely, 100 percent right. Madoka was so overwhelmed with everything, with so many unanswered questions, it's almost like she was starting to forget who she was. that's ... another trap that every magical girl falls into, in the end.]
[there are tears sliding down her cheeks again, but they aren't so much out of misery as earlier. it's funny. they've only known each other for a few weeks, but, somehow, it seems like John already knows her so well, already has her figured out. maybe she's easy to read — maybe she's more convinced than ever that reaching out to him for help was the best decision she's made here.]
[there's still a lot of hurt there, when she looks at him again, but it's easily overshadowed by gratefulness. and hope.]
I think ... I have a lot I need to think about. [when she tries on a smile this time, it isn't very steady, but it's sincere.]
But I think I want to keep fighting — one step forward, right? Um.
Whatever it is we're facing here, on this world ... would it be all right if we faced it together? I'm probably not as strong as you or your friends, but...
[It's funny because the advice he's giving her is advice he wishes he could give other people and also advice maybe he should take himself. But that's neither here nor there and this isn't something he should only give part of his attention to. Madoka came to him for help and that is the thing he needs to focus on.
There's some relief in knowing that it seemed to help though and though she's still shattered by everything, the attempted smile helps. There's still hope to be found and that, probably, is most important.]
You're stronger than you think. I know a lot of people that wouldn't reach out to other people for help with something like this, you know. That is probably one of the bravest things you could have done. [The trouble is that there's nothing but sincerity in his own tone, too. He truly believes that.] It's not about if you're as strong as us or anybody else. It is about the fact that you want to keep fighting. Somebody could be the strongest person in the universe but if they didn't want to try what even would be the point? So. I think you'll be okay. We can do this together and you have time to think about what you want to do. You have people here that will be ready for whatever you decide, too.
[There's a short pause.] But until then...we just need to protect your soul gem, right? Everybody has something. I mean just because we are gods doesn't mean we can't die, too. [Even if it's conditionally.] Whatever we're supposed to do here, we'll definitely do it together. Don't worry.
I don't know if brave is the right word. I think ... I just knew, deep down, that I could count on you.
[Madoka smiles again, and holds her hand out as her Soul Gem rearranges itself into a ring again, safe on her finger.]
I think this is probably the safest place for it for now. [assuming nobody in the coven or any of the Palai are jewelry thieves. but she's confident she can keep it as safe as she ever has.] Maybe we can figure out something else for it later.
I'm ... really happy that I met you, John-san. Thank you for listening to me. [for the confidence in her. for saying exactly what she needed to hear. for being a friend, a pal and a confidant.]
[and for the first time since they arrived here, Madoka feels safe. safe enough to let the exhaustion she'd been fighting for this long set in. so she starts drooping a little, sorry about that John.]
It's still a word I would use. [But he watches the gem turn back into a ring and grins softly. She can protect herself. He knows that, but he can still do what he can to be someone reliable.] But...thanks. I'll do my best to keep being someone you can count on, okay? And listen and everything.
[That's always nice to hear, too.] It's the same for me, you know. ["I'm happy I met you, too."] We'll figure everything out together.
[But of course she's starting to nod off and there's a small laugh of surprise as he shifts to make this more comfortable for both of them.] You ready to head back in? Or do you want to stay a little longer?
[even though she had started to doze, Madoka heard what he said. after she's had a good night's sleep, it's guaranteed she'll make sure he knows — she wants to be someone that John can count on, too. whatever it takes.]
[she starts, though, when he shifts.] Ah! Sorry —
[and then, with a sheepish little laugh of her own:] Maybe we should both get some rest.
[It's perhaps a bit surprising that the look he gives her is almost of fondness, but he shakes his head instead once she apologizes.] Don't worry about it, it's okay. Rest doesn't sound like a bad idea though. Who knows what we will end up doing tomorrow. I'll fly us back down when you're ready.
[There's. Definitely a set of stairs they could take that isn't far under them and it would lead them to the lower level of the house, but who wants to do that? Not him. Nope.]
[it's surprisingly comfortable up on the roof — but John's right, who knows what could happen tomorrow. she doesn't want him losing anymore sleep than he already has.]
[so, she's the first to pull herself to her feet.]
I'm ready. [with a smile, she offers a hand to help him up.]
[He could have kept her here longer, but sleeping upright is uncomfortable at best and dangerous at worse. He takes the offered hand and pulls himself into a standing position, though he immediately shifts to bend and allow Madoka to jump on his back again.]
If we're here for a while? This might be a good place to come in the evenings anyway. You can see the ocean from here, too.
[and once they're safe down on the ground, and she's back on her feet, she ... looks down, fingers steepled, seemingly considering something.]
[ah, what the heck.]
[Madoka steps closer and wraps her arms around John in the biggest hug she can muster. she's a good foot shorter than him, so it might be a bit awkward, but it's genuinely affectionate and grateful all the same.]
[He's not sure what the considering look is for and he's about to ask if she's really okay but then she moves and--
--oh. It's unexpected, to say the least, and as such he's left staring at the top of her head for a split-second before returning the gesture. It's just as genuine and affectionate and he doesn't pull back just yet.]
[Madoka nods and just. hangs on for a minute — please bear with her. when she does let go, she quickly lifts a hand to swipe at her eyes. she ... thought she had run out of tears, but at least these are happy ones.]
I'll catch up with you tomorrow, all right? [in the afternoon, probably, after she's slept in. if her pigtails could droop in exhaustion, they would be right now.]
[Madoka why are you precious, stop this. He does nothing to hurry her along because he's okay with this. She clearly needed it and that's all right by him.]
Tomorrow it is. Get some rest. [He hopes she will, at least.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He more than understands needing to move forward with something to save everyone, even if it scares him.]
Hey. [It's just a firm word to draw her to a stop before he shifts to look at her.] Being scared and running away are not the same thing. [And part of him thinks about how things went at home, too.] I really do not think your friends would blame you for being afraid of what this means when it sounds like Kyubey tricked all of you.
[...maybe he shouldn't ask this of her, but her answer will change his own response.] If you knew...if Kyubey approached you the first time and told you that your power would come from your soul, but that you would still be helping people by fighting the Nightmares, would you still have done it?
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[but she seems almost startled by that question. give her a minute to think it over.]
I think ... I think if others were really hurting, and there was really something I could do to help ... then I would have done it.
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...someone very smart once told me something about how things work. [His words are careful then.] He said: "the thing about how things are "supposed to go" is that they're not always good, and they dont always have happy endings. A lot of deadend timelines had better things happen in them. More people survive or some different, better choices were made. But by the rules, those things did not count because they weren't how things were supposed to go."
And I think, maybe, because of your answer...you know that. Instinctually, I mean. Even knowing what you know now, you just said that you would still do it because you want to help. Because that is how things are supposed to go. But I also do not think this is the end. That's the thing about time and fate? It sounds very scary when you only know parts of it, but there's still the end to meet. So...I think there is still time and a way to find a solution. There has to be a third option outside of letting this happen to you and not letting it happen at all.
It may just need to be something unexpected. "Something that works outside of things." [That part wasn't supposed to be directly quoted, but it is something he has given thought to for some time.]
Dirk is still new to his aspect, but I don't think that will stop him from trying to find an answer. Just like I do not think you will stop being a magical girl who wants to help. And just like I think you will not stop being yourself just because your soul isn't in your body. It's. Still yours, isn't it? It's still in your hands. [Like...literally.] It is still yours to decide what to do with, and I know you want to help but don't forget there are people that will help you, too. No matter what you decide.
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[there are tears sliding down her cheeks again, but they aren't so much out of misery as earlier. it's funny. they've only known each other for a few weeks, but, somehow, it seems like John already knows her so well, already has her figured out. maybe she's easy to read — maybe she's more convinced than ever that reaching out to him for help was the best decision she's made here.]
[there's still a lot of hurt there, when she looks at him again, but it's easily overshadowed by gratefulness. and hope.]
I think ... I have a lot I need to think about. [when she tries on a smile this time, it isn't very steady, but it's sincere.]
But I think I want to keep fighting — one step forward, right? Um.
Whatever it is we're facing here, on this world ... would it be all right if we faced it together? I'm probably not as strong as you or your friends, but...
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There's some relief in knowing that it seemed to help though and though she's still shattered by everything, the attempted smile helps. There's still hope to be found and that, probably, is most important.]
You're stronger than you think. I know a lot of people that wouldn't reach out to other people for help with something like this, you know. That is probably one of the bravest things you could have done. [The trouble is that there's nothing but sincerity in his own tone, too. He truly believes that.] It's not about if you're as strong as us or anybody else. It is about the fact that you want to keep fighting. Somebody could be the strongest person in the universe but if they didn't want to try what even would be the point? So. I think you'll be okay. We can do this together and you have time to think about what you want to do. You have people here that will be ready for whatever you decide, too.
[There's a short pause.] But until then...we just need to protect your soul gem, right? Everybody has something. I mean just because we are gods doesn't mean we can't die, too. [Even if it's conditionally.] Whatever we're supposed to do here, we'll definitely do it together. Don't worry.
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[Madoka smiles again, and holds her hand out as her Soul Gem rearranges itself into a ring again, safe on her finger.]
I think this is probably the safest place for it for now. [assuming nobody in the coven or any of the Palai are jewelry thieves. but she's confident she can keep it as safe as she ever has.] Maybe we can figure out something else for it later.
I'm ... really happy that I met you, John-san. Thank you for listening to me. [for the confidence in her. for saying exactly what she needed to hear. for being a friend, a pal and a confidant.]
[and for the first time since they arrived here, Madoka feels safe. safe enough to let the exhaustion she'd been fighting for this long set in. so she starts drooping a little, sorry about that John.]
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[That's always nice to hear, too.] It's the same for me, you know. ["I'm happy I met you, too."] We'll figure everything out together.
[But of course she's starting to nod off and there's a small laugh of surprise as he shifts to make this more comfortable for both of them.] You ready to head back in? Or do you want to stay a little longer?
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[she starts, though, when he shifts.] Ah! Sorry —
[and then, with a sheepish little laugh of her own:] Maybe we should both get some rest.
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[There's. Definitely a set of stairs they could take that isn't far under them and it would lead them to the lower level of the house, but who wants to do that? Not him. Nope.]
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[so, she's the first to pull herself to her feet.]
I'm ready. [with a smile, she offers a hand to help him up.]
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If we're here for a while? This might be a good place to come in the evenings anyway. You can see the ocean from here, too.
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[and once they're safe down on the ground, and she's back on her feet, she ... looks down, fingers steepled, seemingly considering something.]
[ah, what the heck.]
[Madoka steps closer and wraps her arms around John in the biggest hug she can muster. she's a good foot shorter than him, so it might be a bit awkward, but it's genuinely affectionate and grateful all the same.]
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--oh. It's unexpected, to say the least, and as such he's left staring at the top of her head for a split-second before returning the gesture. It's just as genuine and affectionate and he doesn't pull back just yet.]
Whenever you want. Okay? I'm always around.
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I'll catch up with you tomorrow, all right? [in the afternoon, probably, after she's slept in. if her pigtails could droop in exhaustion, they would be right now.]
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Tomorrow it is. Get some rest. [He hopes she will, at least.]