i just do not really see the point of snooping when there are other things i can do.
[Like pretending to be Rose and trolling Kanaya, for instance.]
no offense but i am not sure i'd want to go through your bro's puppet hideaway? but you are right, i cannot punch my own sister even if she was all evil and growl-y. i mean not really. at least she's not anymore.
if it helps id rather kill myself than harm rose so like i get it
[ he's aware, however, that he could. he doesn't have the proof he might have in the other timeline, the one where he'll behead someone in order to stop a fight because he has t, but. yeah. ]
staying alive is typically a thing we try to do and for once more than two of us are together in the same place none of us evil at all so we can keep eyes on one another
wow w o w i cant believe the lack of gratitude for my efforts john here i am slaving away over paper with a pen doing my ironic fifties housewife schtick i guess and youre all like already talking it down not even waiting like the proper household man to belligerently diss it once im doing cooking you just like start off ahead of time guess what honey im gonna take the kids and move to the city chase my dreams become a movie star
but yeah i would rather talk to the both of you to anything else too so just take it easy will you dude
you're missing an apron, jackass. that would tie the whole fifties housewife thing together. i'll see you on the big screen while i lament my life choices and tell everyone who will listen about the one that got away.
i'm fine, dave. really. i am just going to take my bedding and go to rose's and bother her until you're done with your teen bro teaching you to draw squares or whatever you're doing. we'll be waiting for you to come home and then we will figure out the next thing.
im not wearing an apron for the dude who doesnt appreciate me you do not deserve that because obviously id rock the ironic fifties housewife look ask rose
wait dont ask rose actually this is one of those conversational tangents that she should just never know about
but ok ill be back as soon as i can dude and rn i am drawing apples
aw don't be like that. i'm sure you look great in an apron and i would appreciate it just fine? (i am j/k btw, please skip the apron.) also i am not going to ask rose because i do not want to engage in an hour-long conversation about why this particular conversation is stupid. i am feeling better but not that much better. apples aren't squares. take your time, i am getting stuff together to go to rose. is it hard to concentrate on telepathically talking and drawing/talking to dirk?
i will skip the apron but you are missing out i am pretty sure i had an internet fanbase who would have been into that alternately the weird sweaty troll would probably have been into it which actually is a good reason to never do that and also stop talking about it p sure he got off to us rapping about horses once and i will never be able to erase that moment whats the point of time travel if you cant erase sweaty horse troll from your memories john there is no point
its not hard im used to juggling a few things mentally at once and if anything its kinda useful though apparently he does that thing where i was going to say you know how i rap under my breath sometimes to myself but you do not know that heads up i do that anyway ig he does that too?
i am erasing everything from "internet fanbase to "sweaty horse troll" from my brain. starting now. sorry you will have to suffer with these memories alone.
spending so long messing with timelines i guess that makes sense. that. is not a thing i knew you did, no, but that also makes sense. are your under-breath raps any better than your normal ones? it is sort of weird to see the couple of similarities you guys have.
you say that but can you ever really forget them i can describe it more descriptively if you want redundant though that sentence is
mostly people tell me to stop muttering also fuck you egbert all my raps are pure gold what similarities do you mean though i guess thats the only comparison ive really made since mostly i have been automatically comparing him to bro on the grounds that he looks exactly like bro but younger
your raps leave a lot to be desired, actually, but the muttering thing doesn't bother me. but we also have only been talking in person for a day.
[As if that will make a difference.]
nothing big, just the fact that you are both kind of deadpan and sarcastic and now you both do the rap-mutterings and some other stuff. it is not that big of a deal? just stuff i noticed since talking to dirk.
what the fuck they do not my beats are ill you just dont get rap its like your greatest flaw why do i put up with you also yeah give it some time and you like everyone else will go what the fuck are you muttering about dave are you talking to us we cant hear you we just hear the muttering when will you stop
huh i didnt think it was a big deal i guess its just odd to think about i dont even really think about the ways in which rose and i are similar which i know exist but its always like weird in retrospect because how the FUCK did we not notice this shit earlier
ok the point is to make my stomach feel better, not puke up oatmeal because of sweaty horse troll imagery.
yes that is exactly it. you have caught me. i know nothing about rap. also because i am also your favorite dude in all universes, that's why. what i said still applies though.
i think that will require me getting used to hearing your voice first, so you have a month or two.
anyway. you and rose are definitely similar, but i am not sure about all of the similarities between me and jade and me and jake and me and jane from what jake told me? i can kind of see it but it is probably one of those things you do not notice until someone else points it out. i don't know. i'm still getting to know them. you and rose are easier to figure out with that stuff.
hey you cant use my own words against me also what you said does not apply i am excellent at rap you just have zero taste as proven by the fact you like failure to launch which come the fuck on john why
ill treasure fondly the time in which you do not tell me to shut the fuck up
you and jade are both really optimistic youre genuinely good people who draw lines in the sand about what you are or arent willing to do mind control aside and youre both loyal and determined and kind of jackasses sometimes but not in a bad way i got no fucking clue how youre like the other people since i only met your mom when she was mindcontrolled and therefore i cant speak to what she was like really and the one interaction i had with the jake dude he was just punching one of the trolls because i think he grossly misunderstood what the fuck was going on from my vague understanding of what the fuck was going on you guys look alike i guess?
tbh i think those two seem a bit less social than all of us i didnt notice them using doing the telepathic thing at like all and dirks initial reaction to housing was to go wander off and stay in a fucking tree or something not interacting with people is not a thing that is like you at all or like not being around the group youre a people person
i take back pretty much everything i said about you being my favorite dude in the universe.
also i can, too. have you ever even watched failure to launch? i think you think it's terrible just because i like it.
i tell you to shut the fuck up online sometimes, does that not count?
oh.
[And again it's another point in which John's like. Wow Dave, that sure is a lot.]
i guess all of that makes sense. you and roxy are both very easy to talk to and nice and rose and dirk say a lot of words that sometimes don't always make sense.
there are a lot of similarities between you and roxy, actually.
why did jake punch a troll…which one? also i know, i know. i still do not know how i missed noticing that.
jake also told me he tied his stuff up in a tree because he was not sure about claiming a hut. what the fuck happened in that session that they felt trees were smarter? but yeah i want to interact with people? it has been really nice being able to meet everyone and get to know them after being on the ship with no new people for so long. isn't it the same for you and rose?
dude i never hate a movie without watching it first that would be dumb if im gonna dislike something im gonna dislike it for reasons though i admit all your armageddon movies run together after a while
meenah you know the punk fish princess one? i think he punched her b/c her post scratch self is the condesce it interrupted serket storytime so like w/e
i have no idea what the fuck happened really i know they had a barren session so i have to assume a whole lot of nothing until we showed up? thats what a barren session is they shouldnt really have had quests or any real monsters to get experience from or anything but honestly i dont think it was something that happened that would make it bros first option to fuck off away from the crowd he was always a very private person and im more surprised he decided to snag a hut after all
the commotion is kinda nice yeah esp since theres literally no one talking to me about quadrants do you know how much ive heard about quadrants in the past three years john a lot of much is how much
i still think that is because you aren't paying as close attention to my armageddon movies as you could be but we can fix that. i told jake if we ever found a way to stream movies or anything i would show him a few. maybe we'll bring rose and dirk, too, and make it a whole thing or something.
oh. yeah. she threw a trident at me and roxy. why do all serkets like to talk so much? her post scratch self is what now. i mean i guess it doesn't matter right now.
so that means what, they did not have to fight imps and head through their rings and stuff like we did? then what was the point of their game? if jake was raised like jade maybe he just is not used to people either. shrug.
yeah, funny how that happens on a meteor filled with trolls. i still am not sure i understand quadrants but i do not think i want to know either. there are a lot of people here though! like more than i think any of us have dealt with in years? so that's a little weird. and none of them will talk about alien romance probably.
i watch them what more do you want from me also apparently dirks shades have like computer files on them? i know he has music but you know ill watch whatever with you dude even godawful adam sandler flicks though i ask you take pity on me at least sometimes
rude af i think its b/c theyre light players supposedly rose chats a lot too but at least i fucking care what she says you know half the time i tune out the spider trolls
they like failed to prototype anything so their imps never got any upgrades so they had nothing interesting to fight etc their game stalled out but since we didnt have the battlefield we needed or whatever we needed their session blah blah blah rose can give you the lecture if you ever really want it but i suggest coffee before you even attempt to listen in because she says a lot of things that make you want coffee
ok if anyone talks to me about alien romance im jumping off the island though ive had to actually watch some of their romcoms and let me tell you a thing theyre even more mindnumbingly horrible than our romcoms
yes. that is exactly it. my love for you is the size of a comet, which is the size of jupiter.
[He's missed their useless stupid banter.]
i guess that is a sacrifice for you, thank you for your service or w/e. and yeah he told me his shades are a computer. he built it himself? he was trying to charge them last night or something. if we find movies we can do a real movie night instead of just streaming stuff at stupid hours in the morning. do you think telepathy could stream movies? like if we remember them or whatever.
vriska has a lot to say but you can learn to tune her out, too, after a while. i cannot say much for the other serket that exists? but rose is chatty so maybe yeah it is a light player thing.
roxy said they played in their session for like half a year with a ton of skeletons? and dirk told me some stuff about the earth he and roxy are from. i don't know if i want to think about the game right this second, but i also did not know you liked coffee?
i am almost afraid to ask. and also if you jump off the island you would get slingshotted back, remember? we saw how that goes. why did you have to watch--oh. karkat?
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[Like pretending to be Rose and trolling Kanaya, for instance.]
no offense but i am not sure i'd want to go through your bro's puppet hideaway?
but you are right, i cannot punch my own sister even if she was all evil and growl-y.
i mean not really.
at least she's not anymore.
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so like
i get it
[ he's aware, however, that he could. he doesn't have the proof he might have in the other timeline, the one where he'll behead someone in order to stop a fight because he has t, but. yeah. ]
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[He knows how they both are. There's a lull.]
can you guys...maybe stay alive while we are here?
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staying alive is typically a thing we try to do
and for once more than two of us are together in the same place
none of us evil at all
so
we can keep eyes on one another
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this place isn't so bad.
how far did you go on the island to train with dirk?
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just along the shoreline out of sight tbh
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i am thinking of going to rose's. i don't think i can go back to sleep.
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i promised you breakfast didnt i
and sorry i didnt mean to wake you up
if i woke you up
and you werent like up already
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and it's fine, i was mostly awake? and anyway i don't mind.
i would rather talk to you and rose anyway.
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w o w
i cant believe the lack of gratitude for my efforts john
here i am slaving away over paper with a pen
doing my ironic fifties housewife schtick i guess
and youre all like already talking it down
not even waiting like the proper household man to belligerently diss it once im doing cooking
you just like start off ahead of time
guess what honey im gonna take the kids and move to the city
chase my dreams
become a movie star
but yeah i would rather talk to the both of you to anything else too so
just take it easy will you dude
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i'll see you on the big screen while i lament my life choices and tell everyone who will listen about the one that got away.
i'm fine, dave. really. i am just going to take my bedding and go to rose's and bother her until you're done with your teen bro teaching you to draw squares or whatever you're doing.
we'll be waiting for you to come home and then we will figure out the next thing.
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you do not deserve that
because obviously id rock the ironic fifties housewife look
ask rose
wait dont ask rose actually this is one of those conversational tangents that she should just never know about
but ok ill be back as soon as i can dude
and rn i am drawing apples
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(i am j/k btw, please skip the apron.)
also i am not going to ask rose because i do not want to engage in an hour-long conversation about why this particular conversation is stupid. i am feeling better but not that much better.
apples aren't squares.
take your time, i am getting stuff together to go to rose.
is it hard to concentrate on telepathically talking and drawing/talking to dirk?
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i am pretty sure i had an internet fanbase who would have been into that
alternately the weird sweaty troll would probably have been into it
which
actually is a good reason to never do that and also stop talking about it
p sure he got off to us rapping about horses once and i will never be able to erase that moment
whats the point of time travel if you cant erase sweaty horse troll from your memories john
there is no point
its not hard
im used to juggling a few things mentally at once and if anything its kinda useful
though apparently he does that thing where
i was going to say you know how i rap under my breath sometimes to myself
but you do not know that
heads up i do that
anyway ig he does that too?
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spending so long messing with timelines i guess that makes sense.
that. is not a thing i knew you did, no, but that also makes sense.
are your under-breath raps any better than your normal ones?
it is sort of weird to see the couple of similarities you guys have.
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i can describe it more descriptively if you want
redundant though that sentence is
mostly people tell me to stop muttering
also
fuck you egbert all my raps are pure gold
what similarities do you mean though
i guess thats the only comparison ive really made
since mostly i have been automatically comparing him to bro
on the grounds that he looks exactly like bro but younger
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your raps leave a lot to be desired, actually, but the muttering thing doesn't bother me. but we also have only been talking in person for a day.
[As if that will make a difference.]
nothing big, just the fact that you are both kind of deadpan and sarcastic and now you both do the rap-mutterings and some other stuff. it is not that big of a deal? just stuff i noticed since talking to dirk.
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what the fuck they do not
my beats are ill you just dont get rap
its like your greatest flaw why do i put up with you
also yeah give it some time and you like everyone else will go
what the fuck are you muttering about dave
are you talking to us
we cant hear you
we just hear the muttering
when will you stop
huh
i didnt think it was a big deal i guess its just odd to think about
i dont even really think about the ways in which rose and i are similar
which
i know exist but its always like weird in retrospect because how the FUCK did we not notice this shit earlier
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yes that is exactly it. you have caught me. i know nothing about rap.
also because i am also your favorite dude in all universes, that's why.
what i said still applies though.
i think that will require me getting used to hearing your voice first, so you have a month or two.
anyway. you and rose are definitely similar, but i am not sure about all of the similarities between me and jade and me and jake and me and jane from what jake told me?
i can kind of see it but it is probably one of those things you do not notice until someone else points it out.
i don't know. i'm still getting to know them.
you and rose are easier to figure out with that stuff.
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hey you cant use my own words against me
also what you said does not apply
i am excellent at rap
you just have zero taste
as proven by the fact you like failure to launch
which come the fuck on john why
ill treasure fondly the time in which you do not tell me to shut the fuck up
you and jade are both really optimistic
youre genuinely good people who draw lines in the sand about what you are or arent willing to do
mind control aside
and youre both loyal and determined and kind of jackasses sometimes but not in a bad way
i got no fucking clue how youre like the other people
since i only met your mom when she was mindcontrolled and therefore i cant speak to what she was like really
and the one interaction i had with the jake dude he was just punching one of the trolls because i think he grossly misunderstood what the fuck was going on
from my vague understanding of what the fuck was going on
you guys look alike i guess?
tbh i think those two seem a bit less social than all of us
i didnt notice them using doing the telepathic thing at like all
and dirks initial reaction to housing was to go wander off and stay in a fucking tree or something
not interacting with people is not a thing that is like you at all
or like not being around the group
youre a people person
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also i can, too.
have you ever even watched failure to launch? i think you think it's terrible just because i like it.
i tell you to shut the fuck up online sometimes, does that not count?
oh.
[And again it's another point in which John's like. Wow Dave, that sure is a lot.]
i guess all of that makes sense. you and roxy are both very easy to talk to and nice and rose and dirk say a lot of words that sometimes don't always make sense.
there are a lot of similarities between you and roxy, actually.
why did jake punch a troll…which one?
also i know, i know. i still do not know how i missed noticing that.
jake also told me he tied his stuff up in a tree because he was not sure about claiming a hut.
what the fuck happened in that session that they felt trees were smarter?
but yeah i want to interact with people? it has been really nice being able to meet everyone and get to know them after being on the ship with no new people for so long.
isn't it the same for you and rose?
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dude i never hate a movie without watching it first
that would be dumb
if im gonna dislike something im gonna dislike it for reasons
though i admit all your armageddon movies run together after a while
meenah
you know the punk fish princess one?
i think he punched her b/c her post scratch self is the condesce
it interrupted serket storytime so like
w/e
i have no idea what the fuck happened really
i know they had a barren session so i have to assume a whole lot of nothing until we showed up?
thats what a barren session is
they shouldnt really have had quests or any real monsters to get experience from or anything
but honestly i dont think it was something that happened that would make it bros first option
to fuck off away from the crowd
he was always a very private person and im more surprised he decided to snag a hut after all
the commotion is kinda nice yeah
esp since theres literally no one talking to me about quadrants
do you know how much ive heard about quadrants in the past three years john
a lot of much is how much
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i still think that is because you aren't paying as close attention to my armageddon movies as you could be but we can fix that. i told jake if we ever found a way to stream movies or anything i would show him a few. maybe we'll bring rose and dirk, too, and make it a whole thing or something.
oh. yeah. she threw a trident at me and roxy.
why do all serkets like to talk so much?
her post scratch self is what now.
i mean i guess it doesn't matter right now.
so that means what, they did not have to fight imps and head through their rings and stuff like we did?
then what was the point of their game?
if jake was raised like jade maybe he just is not used to people either.
shrug.
yeah, funny how that happens on a meteor filled with trolls.
i still am not sure i understand quadrants but i do not think i want to know either.
there are a lot of people here though! like more than i think any of us have dealt with in years? so that's a little weird.
and none of them will talk about alien romance probably.
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i watch them what more do you want from me
also apparently dirks shades have like
computer files on them?
i know he has music
but you know ill watch whatever with you dude
even godawful adam sandler flicks though i ask you take pity on me at least sometimes
rude af
i think its b/c theyre light players supposedly
rose chats a lot too but at least i fucking care what she says you know
half the time i tune out the spider trolls
they like failed to prototype anything
so their imps never got any upgrades
so they had nothing interesting to fight etc
their game stalled out but since we didnt have the battlefield we needed or whatever
we needed their session
blah blah blah
rose can give you the lecture if you ever really want it
but i suggest coffee before you even attempt to listen in
because she says a lot of things that make you want coffee
ok if anyone talks to me about alien romance im jumping off the island though
ive had to actually watch some of their romcoms and let me tell you a thing
theyre even more mindnumbingly horrible than our romcoms
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[He's missed their useless stupid banter.]
i guess that is a sacrifice for you, thank you for your service or w/e.
and yeah he told me his shades are a computer. he built it himself? he was trying to charge them last night or something.
if we find movies we can do a real movie night instead of just streaming stuff at stupid hours in the morning.
do you think telepathy could stream movies? like if we remember them or whatever.
vriska has a lot to say but you can learn to tune her out, too, after a while. i cannot say much for the other serket that exists? but rose is chatty so maybe yeah it is a light player thing.
roxy said they played in their session for like half a year with a ton of skeletons? and dirk told me some stuff about the earth he and roxy are from.
i don't know if i want to think about the game right this second, but i also did not know you liked coffee?
i am almost afraid to ask.
and also if you jump off the island you would get slingshotted back, remember? we saw how that goes.
why did you have to watch--oh. karkat?
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