Convo: Pesterlog with Vriska: "AG: John, stop kissing that adult 8rown male human computer at once. EB: but... EB: it is bill cosby. EB: he's back. EB: in laptop form. AG: Man. It is just another waste of time. " Convo: Pesterlog with Vriska: "AG: What the fuck are you doing now! EB: i am going to blast off and fly a little higher, to see if i can find nanna up there! EB: and then i will install the game. EB: it will only take a second! AG: No, that's not what I mean! AG: I know that's what you're going to do. AG: You're just not supposed to do it now! AG: You are supposed to do something else first. And then fly up. It's right here on your timeline. 8y attempting to do the thing you're not supposed to do yet, you are just wasting more of our time!!!!!!!! EB: jeez!!! EB: you are incredibly bossy." "EB: has it occurred to you that i might be wasting so much time because you keep pestering me telling me how much time i'm wasting? EB: and then when i'm about to make progress you tell me i am doing the wrong thing! EB: if it weren't for you i would be playing this game already. AG: Okaaaaaaaay, shut up! AG: Fine. I will hold your hand every step of the way, since that's apparently how you want to do this. EB: but it isn't! AG: I said shut up! AG: Look, you are a8out to make yourself a new outfit, and THEN you will fly up and install the game. EB: oh... EB: but why would i do that? my ecto labsuit is rad! AG: 8ecause you look like an idiot! EB: :( AG: Seriously, it's a good thing I did decide to 8other you now. Otherwise you would go through the game looking like a little weenie 8oy-Skylark." "AG: You are clearly much 8etter than that. You should dress like it. EB: who cares what i dress like? it is what's inside the adventurer that counts. AG: Hahahahahahahaha! AG: I watched you actually say that with a str8 f8ce. Oh my god. EB: why are you taking such an interest in my fashion, anyway? AG: Trolls are an extremely fashion-minded race, John. You should make a note of this, since you pretend to 8e a scientist or something." "EB: ok, anyway, i will make a new suit, but i am not ditching my ectosuit!!! EB: it is so sweet, i look like link, if zelda was a quest about an elf scientist. EB: i am the wind waker. it's me. AG: I know you are, John." Action: Empty Sylladex. Convo: Pesterlog with Vriska: "AG: This is the most ridiculous pile of useless crap I have ever seen. AG: Why did you pick up all this junk???????? Rocks, mushrooms, shoes........ AG: Jegus, John. EB: jegus? AG: Yes. Jegus! EB: how do you know about jegus? do you even know what that is? AG: I have no idea! It's something Terezi has 8een saying non stop for some reason." "AG: John! Is that a frog I see there? EB: uh, yes. it is. AG: How do you have a frog already???????? EB: i dunno. i found it, and i decided to captchalogue it for some reason. EB: frogs are pretty cool. AG: It seems awfully early in your game for you to 8e finding frogs. Your session sure is weird! EB: huh. ok... EB: apparently it is considered illegal contraband. EB: why would a frog be illegal?" Action: Create new outfit. Item: New Vriska-fied outfit. Convo: Pesterlog with Vriska: "EB: i was just picturing something... EB: more elaborate? like maybe more adventurey. AG: Fuck that. AG: This is a really hot look for you, John. It makes you look a million times more cool, instead of some kind of overa8sconding daggerlance fl8ling pansy." Action: Blastoff up to the top of your house. Convo: Pesterlog with Vriska: "EB: ok... EB: marquise bossyfangs mcsekret, this has been a lot of fun... EB: but i have to go talk to my pals now, and also rescue jade! AG: Yes, I know that, dummy! I am in complete command of your timeline, remem8er? E8: oh yeah. sure, if you say so. AG: We will not speak again for a while. 8ut for me it will only 8e a moment." "EB: thanks for all the help. bye, ms. serket! AG: 8ye, John........ AG: W8. AG: John what? EB: Anderson. AG: Ok. Til next time, Mr. Anderson. EB: (hehehehehehehehe)" Convo: Pesterlog with Dave: "EB: hey dave! TG: hey EB: wow, it's been a while since we talked, hasn't it. TG: has it EB: i think the last time i talked to you, i was doing exactly what im doing now... EB: which is blasting off from my house." "EB: are you using the troll time chat gizmo? TG: fuck no fuck that trollian horseshit TG: its just regular old time travel TG: im from the future EB: oh ok. is this dave sprite? TG: no TG: just regular ordinary dave from the fucking future nothing special dude come on EB: well, excuse me, but i still think time travel sounds kind of special. EB: sorry you are so jaded by awesome shit!" "TG: i need to borrow some boondollars off you EB: boondollars? i thought they didn't do anything. TG: no they do do something EB: what do they do? TG: what do you think they buy shit its fucking money EB: what do they buy? TG: i cant answer all these questions dude youll find out anyway its not like youll even really need your money TG: you you might as well give it to me EB: uh... EB: how much do you need? TG: all of it EB: oh, fuck that!!!" "EB: how far in the future are you from? EB: i thought we only had something like 24 hours until, like... EB: game over. TG: yeah we do TG: but chronologically ive been around for at least triple that EB: wow. how... EB: i don't get how that works!" "TG: its kiddie bullshit time is serious fucking business TG: leave it to the pros ok EB: but, doesn't going back in time make an alternate reality? EB: i thought that's what happened with dave sprite, he came back to make sure i didn't die and this is a new timeline now. TG: yeah it can work that way TG: or not TG: ive been very careful TG: this whole operation is strung together with stable time loops TG: no timeline offshoots cause thats when daves start dying and that isnt no good for nobody EB: daves, plural? TG: yeah TG: there are a bunch of daves running around the timeline" "EB: so what is the future like? EB: or uh, the 3x future... EB: do we win??? TG: oh you know TG: noirs outta control TG: rose is crazy jades crazier and youre TG: well youre you TG: and together were up to our bulges and miscellaneous bullshit alien physiology in hot sloppy shenanigans while hatching plans under our feathery asses like a bunch of cage free farm fresh motherfuckers TG: but im not about to get into specifics cause this is complicated enough as it is TG: and if i started ranting too much about the future id start sounding like one of these smug alternian shitheads and im not about to drop that retarded science on my good bro TG: so im staying on track here TG: speaking of which TG: give me your money" "TG: im working the system here TG: using time loops to manipulate the incipispheres financial sector TG: making a goddamn killing in the lohacse EB: lohacse? TG: lohac stock exchange EB: um... EB: lohac? TG: my planet TG: land of heat and clockwork dude come on TG: you know like gears and lava and shit EB: oh, huh. EB: that sounds unpleasant. TG: wrong it kicks ass EB: your unpleasant face is what kicks ass! EB: or DOESN'T, more like. TG: egbert stfu and give me your goddamn boonbuck j3gus fuck TG: ill turn it into a boonmint in an hour and youll get it back ok EB: j3gus? EB: *narrows eyes suspiciously...* TG: no comment EB: i don't even know how to give it to you! EB: they are just more weird gaming abstractions, how do we do this? TG: you can wire it to my account TG: ill send you the app EB: i'm really pretty busy you know. i have to help jade! TG: i know TG: but this takes like two seconds EB: bluh... EB: fiiiiiiiine. TG: dude TG: dont do the vriska thing ok TG: shes messed up we talked about this TG: or will talk EB: who? TG: whatever" Convo: Pesterlog with Vriska: "AG: First of all, who told you you could just hassle me without warning like this? That's not how this works! EB: why not? you guys do it all the time. AG: Yes, 8ecause we are trolling you! Those are the rules. We get to 8ug you any time we feel like, and you have to sit there and t8ke it like a chump. EB: bluh... AG: I am too 8usy to 8e fielding your nonsense at the drop of one of your a8surd human hats. I have a ridiculous num8er of irons in the fire. You will speak to me only when I am ready to contact you, is that clear???????? EB: that's dumb. i'm going to talk to you whenever i want! AG: Secondly, I am very pissed off that you figured out my name. EB: well, i didn't know it was your name for sure until you just told me now. EB: so, haha." "EB: a true wise guy never reveals his tricks. AG: I will find out who told you. And then I will m8ke them p8y." Convo: Pesterlog with Karkat: "CG: HEY SHITHEAD YOU ARE IN HUGE TROUBLE. CG: A WORD WITH YOU AND YOUR FRIEND. EB: oh no. EB: which conversation is this for you? your second or so? CG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT EB: i mean... EB: the second time you have spoken to me? EB: or first?? CG: JOHN, FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES, THIS IS OUR TEN MILLIONTH CONVERSATION." "CG: NOW I NEED YOU TO JOIN THIS MEMO SO WE CAN DISCUSS SOMETHING IMPORTANT. EB: memo? CG: CLICK THE AWESOME BANNER I MADE." Convo: Pesterlog with Dave and Karkat: "?CG: YES, LISTEN TO YOUR LEADER DAVE. ?CG: AS DUMB AS EGBERT IS, HE IS SMARTER THAN YOU AND IS THE RIGHTFUL SUPERIOR AMONG YOUR DREARY LITTLE PARTY. ?CG: BUT I AM THE SUPERIOR OF BOTH OF YOU AND WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO BE DOING IS LISTENING TO ME. ?CG: SO DAVE, TRY TO KEEP ALL THOSE SICK FIRES CHECKED AND THOSE STOIC LIPS PURSED FOR A GOD DAMNED SECOND ?CG: AND TAKE THIS SIMPLE BIT OF HATEFRIENDLY ADVICE: ?CG: STOP HITTING ON TEREZI IMMEDIATELY, IT'S FUCKING EMBARRASSING TO WATCH. CTG: nah CEB: haha, dave you're hitting on terezi? really?? CTG: no" "CEB: karkat, is terezi really your girlfriend? ?CG: GUESS WHAT THIS CONVERSATION IS ABOUT! NOT THAT PARTICULAR TOPIC. ?CG: ALSO GUESS WHOSE BUSINESS THAT STILL ISN'T, FUCKING YOURS, THAT'S RIGHT. CTG: pretty sure she is CTG: or he thinks she is or something CTG: made it pretty obvious when he started ranting at me months ago CTG: back when i suspected these trolls were full of shit CTG: but now look how far weve come CTG: theres not any doubt left about that at all" "?CG: OUR ROMANCE IS MUCH MORE COMPLICATED THAN THE JOKE THAT PASSES FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF THE CONCEPT. ?CG: YOU ONLY HAVE ONE QUADRANT! THAT'S JUST ABSURD. CTG: right CTG: sounds like its time to get a clue she is over you dude CEB: what is so different about your romance? CEB: what's a quadrant? how many do you have? CTG: john god dammit stop embarrassing us CTG: first of all weve got to be on record here as not giving a shit about that CTG: second obviously theres gonna be 4 quadrants come on" "?CG: JOHN, DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE HOW MANY E'S YOU JUST TYPED THERE. ?CG: THAT'S GOT TO STOP TOO. CEB: what does? ?CG: STOP TALKING TO VRISKA. I'M FUCKING SERIOUS. CEB: what! CEB: no way. vriska's cool, i'll talk to her all i want! ?CG: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ?CG: YOU JACKASSES HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELVES INTO. ?CG: THEY'RE DANGEROUS, AND YOU'RE JUST BLUNDERING RIGHT INTO THEIR HYPERCOMPETITIVE MINDFUCK MURDER-THICKET. ?CG: THESE PSYCHO GIRLS HAVE ALREADY GOTTEN EACH OF YOU KILLED AT LEAST ONCE TO MY KNOWLEDGE. CEB: well, yeah... CEB: but terezi killed me in an alternate timeline, so that isn't too bad i guess. CEB: plus, i am pretty sure that she is sorry about it." "CEB: wait... CEB: are you saying that vriska is interested in me? CEB: like, romantically? ?CG: EGBERT JUST EARNED A FEW BRAIN POINTS! ?CG: HE HAS REACHED A NEW RUNG ON HIS ECHELADDER, "EASILY OUTFOXED BY SIMPLE UTENSILS" ?CG: "BUCKAROO" ?CG: OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT CTG: smooth CEB: oh man. CEB: uh... ?CG: YES LET'S ALL HAVE A GREAT BIG OH MAN OVER THAT ?CG: AND THEN FUCKING CUT THE HORSESHIT FOREVER. SOUND GOOD? CEB: i'm not sure what to think about this. CEB: dave, what do you think i should do?" "CEB: i don't think i have ever actually liked a girl before in that way, so i am not really sure what i am supposed to feel or do... ?CG: HOLY FUCK WHAT AM I EVEN READING HERE????? CTG: doesnt concern you dude" "CTG: john just a heads up in the future i think youre gonna spurn one of his awkward advances CEB: uh oh! ?CG: JOHN DON'T LISTEN TO THIS FUCKER, HE'S THE WORST GUY AT GIVING ADVICE I'VE EVER SEEN. CEB: yeah, i dunno dave, i have talked to karkat a lot and i really don't think he has a thing for me. ?CG: EXACTLY. JOHN ONCE AGAIN IS FLYING HIGH AS SMARTEST HUMAN. ?CG: AND JOHN, PURELY HYPOTHETICALLY, IF ONE OF US IN THE FUTURE DOES MAKE SOME SORT OF SOLICITATION YOU DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND... ?CG: BECAUSE OF PERHAPS SOME CULTURAL DIFFERENCES ?CG: I MEAN NO ONE IN PARTICULAR HERE ?CG: MAYBE TRY TO UNDERSTAND THAT PERSON MIGHT NOT BE THINKING TOO CLEARLY AT THAT MOMENT CEB: uh..." "EB: rose and jade? CEB: so, uh... CEB: you want us to like, date them? ?CG: WOULD IT REALLY FUCKING KILL YOU TO CONSIDER IT?????? ?CG: I MEAN GOD. WHAT DO YOU EVEN THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE IN THIS GAME? ?CG: YOU'RE CREATING YOUR OWN UNIVERSE TO GO LIVE IN. ?CG: AND JUST HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR SPECIES IS SUPPOSED TO REPOPULATE ITSELF??????????? IDIOTS. CTG: dude CTG: no CTG: just CTG: stop" ACTION: Connect to Jade ACTION: Get hit with a pie by Nannasprite, sweet catch. CONVO: Spritelog with Nannasprite: "JOHN: but nanna, did you know he is not really my dad? and also, i am not technically your grandson. JOHN: you are actually sort of my mother. NANNASPRITE: Of course I knew this, John! I have known for many years. NANNASPRITE: I have also known that in a sense, you are my father as well. You were the one to push all those buttons, after all!" "NANNASPRITE: You should have returned sooner! I could have given you this boon at a much lower rung. JOHN: boon? NANNASPRITE: Here, John. Take this." ITEM: Sprite necklace "JOHN: ok. what is it? NANNASPRITE: You can use it to summon me wherever you go. NANNASPRITE: Now we needn't endure those long spells without a good visit! JOHN: oh cool, that is great!" ACTION: Be Jade's server player, deploy cruxtruder, deploy totem lathe,, deploy alchemiter
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ACT FIVE PT 2
EB: but...
EB: it is bill cosby.
EB: he's back.
EB: in laptop form.
AG: Man. It is just another waste of time. "
Convo: Pesterlog with Vriska: "AG: What the fuck are you doing now!
EB: i am going to blast off and fly a little higher, to see if i can find nanna up there!
EB: and then i will install the game.
EB: it will only take a second!
AG: No, that's not what I mean!
AG: I know that's what you're going to do.
AG: You're just not supposed to do it now!
AG: You are supposed to do something else first. And then fly up. It's right here on your timeline. 8y attempting to do the thing you're not supposed to do yet, you are just wasting more of our time!!!!!!!!
EB: jeez!!!
EB: you are incredibly bossy."
"EB: has it occurred to you that i might be wasting so much time because you keep pestering me telling me how much time i'm wasting?
EB: and then when i'm about to make progress you tell me i am doing the wrong thing!
EB: if it weren't for you i would be playing this game already.
AG: Okaaaaaaaay, shut up!
AG: Fine. I will hold your hand every step of the way, since that's apparently how you want to do this.
EB: but it isn't!
AG: I said shut up!
AG: Look, you are a8out to make yourself a new outfit, and THEN you will fly up and install the game.
EB: oh...
EB: but why would i do that? my ecto labsuit is rad!
AG: 8ecause you look like an idiot!
EB: :(
AG: Seriously, it's a good thing I did decide to 8other you now. Otherwise you would go through the game looking like a little weenie 8oy-Skylark."
"AG: You are clearly much 8etter than that. You should dress like it.
EB: who cares what i dress like? it is what's inside the adventurer that counts.
AG: Hahahahahahahaha!
AG: I watched you actually say that with a str8 f8ce. Oh my god.
EB: why are you taking such an interest in my fashion, anyway?
AG: Trolls are an extremely fashion-minded race, John. You should make a note of this, since you pretend to 8e a scientist or something."
"EB: ok, anyway, i will make a new suit, but i am not ditching my ectosuit!!!
EB: it is so sweet, i look like link, if zelda was a quest about an elf scientist.
EB: i am the wind waker. it's me.
AG: I know you are, John."
Action: Empty Sylladex. Convo: Pesterlog with Vriska: "AG: This is the most ridiculous pile of useless crap I have ever seen.
AG: Why did you pick up all this junk???????? Rocks, mushrooms, shoes........
AG: Jegus, John.
EB: jegus?
AG: Yes. Jegus!
EB: how do you know about jegus? do you even know what that is?
AG: I have no idea! It's something Terezi has 8een saying non stop for some reason."
"AG: John! Is that a frog I see there?
EB: uh, yes. it is.
AG: How do you have a frog already????????
EB: i dunno. i found it, and i decided to captchalogue it for some reason.
EB: frogs are pretty cool.
AG: It seems awfully early in your game for you to 8e finding frogs. Your session sure is weird!
EB: huh. ok...
EB: apparently it is considered illegal contraband.
EB: why would a frog be illegal?"
Action: Create new outfit. Item: New Vriska-fied outfit. Convo: Pesterlog with Vriska: "EB: i was just picturing something...
EB: more elaborate? like maybe more adventurey.
AG: Fuck that.
AG: This is a really hot look for you, John. It makes you look a million times more cool, instead of some kind of overa8sconding daggerlance fl8ling pansy."
Action: Blastoff up to the top of your house.
Convo: Pesterlog with Vriska: "EB: ok...
EB: marquise bossyfangs mcsekret, this has been a lot of fun...
EB: but i have to go talk to my pals now, and also rescue jade!
AG: Yes, I know that, dummy! I am in complete command of your timeline, remem8er?
E8: oh yeah. sure, if you say so.
AG: We will not speak again for a while. 8ut for me it will only 8e a moment."
"EB: thanks for all the help. bye, ms. serket!
AG: 8ye, John........
AG: W8.
AG: John what?
EB: Anderson.
AG: Ok. Til next time, Mr. Anderson.
EB: (hehehehehehehehe)"
Convo: Pesterlog with Dave: "EB: hey dave!
TG: hey
EB: wow, it's been a while since we talked, hasn't it.
TG: has it
EB: i think the last time i talked to you, i was doing exactly what im doing now...
EB: which is blasting off from my house."
"EB: are you using the troll time chat gizmo?
TG: fuck no fuck that trollian horseshit
TG: its just regular old time travel
TG: im from the future
EB: oh ok. is this dave sprite?
TG: no
TG: just regular ordinary dave from the fucking future nothing special dude come on
EB: well, excuse me, but i still think time travel sounds kind of special.
EB: sorry you are so jaded by awesome shit!"
"TG: i need to borrow some boondollars off you
EB: boondollars? i thought they didn't do anything.
TG: no they do do something
EB: what do they do?
TG: what do you think they buy shit its fucking money
EB: what do they buy?
TG: i cant answer all these questions dude youll find out anyway its not like youll even really need your money
TG: you you might as well give it to me
EB: uh...
EB: how much do you need?
TG: all of it
EB: oh, fuck that!!!"
"EB: how far in the future are you from?
EB: i thought we only had something like 24 hours until, like...
EB: game over.
TG: yeah we do
TG: but chronologically ive been around for at least triple that
EB: wow. how...
EB: i don't get how that works!"
"TG: its kiddie bullshit time is serious fucking business
TG: leave it to the pros ok
EB: but, doesn't going back in time make an alternate reality?
EB: i thought that's what happened with dave sprite, he came back to make sure i didn't die and this is a new timeline now.
TG: yeah it can work that way
TG: or not
TG: ive been very careful
TG: this whole operation is strung together with stable time loops
TG: no timeline offshoots cause thats when daves start dying and that isnt no good for nobody
EB: daves, plural?
TG: yeah
TG: there are a bunch of daves running around the timeline"
"EB: so what is the future like?
EB: or uh, the 3x future...
EB: do we win???
TG: oh you know
TG: noirs outta control
TG: rose is crazy jades crazier and youre
TG: well youre you
TG: and together were up to our bulges and miscellaneous bullshit alien physiology in hot sloppy shenanigans while hatching plans under our feathery asses like a bunch of cage free farm fresh motherfuckers
TG: but im not about to get into specifics cause this is complicated enough as it is
TG: and if i started ranting too much about the future id start sounding like one of these smug alternian shitheads and im not about to drop that retarded science on my good bro
TG: so im staying on track here
TG: speaking of which
TG: give me your money"
"TG: im working the system here
TG: using time loops to manipulate the incipispheres financial sector
TG: making a goddamn killing in the lohacse
EB: lohacse?
TG: lohac stock exchange
EB: um...
EB: lohac?
TG: my planet
TG: land of heat and clockwork dude come on
TG: you know like gears and lava and shit
EB: oh, huh.
EB: that sounds unpleasant.
TG: wrong it kicks ass
EB: your unpleasant face is what kicks ass!
EB: or DOESN'T, more like.
TG: egbert stfu and give me your goddamn boonbuck j3gus fuck
TG: ill turn it into a boonmint in an hour and youll get it back ok
EB: j3gus?
EB: *narrows eyes suspiciously...*
TG: no comment
EB: i don't even know how to give it to you!
EB: they are just more weird gaming abstractions, how do we do this?
TG: you can wire it to my account
TG: ill send you the app
EB: i'm really pretty busy you know. i have to help jade!
TG: i know
TG: but this takes like two seconds
EB: bluh...
EB: fiiiiiiiine.
TG: dude
TG: dont do the vriska thing ok
TG: shes messed up we talked about this
TG: or will talk
EB: who?
TG: whatever"
Convo: Pesterlog with Vriska: "AG: First of all, who told you you could just hassle me without warning like this? That's not how this works!
EB: why not? you guys do it all the time.
AG: Yes, 8ecause we are trolling you! Those are the rules. We get to 8ug you any time we feel like, and you have to sit there and t8ke it like a chump.
EB: bluh...
AG: I am too 8usy to 8e fielding your nonsense at the drop of one of your a8surd human hats. I have a ridiculous num8er of irons in the fire. You will speak to me only when I am ready to contact you, is that clear????????
EB: that's dumb. i'm going to talk to you whenever i want!
AG: Secondly, I am very pissed off that you figured out my name.
EB: well, i didn't know it was your name for sure until you just told me now.
EB: so, haha."
"EB: a true wise guy never reveals his tricks.
AG: I will find out who told you. And then I will m8ke them p8y."
Convo: Pesterlog with Karkat: "CG: HEY SHITHEAD YOU ARE IN HUGE TROUBLE.
CG: A WORD WITH YOU AND YOUR FRIEND.
EB: oh no.
EB: which conversation is this for you? your second or so?
CG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
EB: i mean...
EB: the second time you have spoken to me?
EB: or first??
CG: JOHN, FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES, THIS IS OUR TEN MILLIONTH CONVERSATION."
"CG: NOW I NEED YOU TO JOIN THIS MEMO SO WE CAN DISCUSS SOMETHING IMPORTANT.
EB: memo?
CG: CLICK THE AWESOME BANNER I MADE."
Convo: Pesterlog with Dave and Karkat: "?CG: YES, LISTEN TO YOUR LEADER DAVE.
?CG: AS DUMB AS EGBERT IS, HE IS SMARTER THAN YOU AND IS THE RIGHTFUL SUPERIOR AMONG YOUR DREARY LITTLE PARTY.
?CG: BUT I AM THE SUPERIOR OF BOTH OF YOU AND WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO BE DOING IS LISTENING TO ME.
?CG: SO DAVE, TRY TO KEEP ALL THOSE SICK FIRES CHECKED AND THOSE STOIC LIPS PURSED FOR A GOD DAMNED SECOND
?CG: AND TAKE THIS SIMPLE BIT OF HATEFRIENDLY ADVICE:
?CG: STOP HITTING ON TEREZI IMMEDIATELY, IT'S FUCKING EMBARRASSING TO WATCH.
CTG: nah
CEB: haha, dave you're hitting on terezi? really??
CTG: no"
"CEB: karkat, is terezi really your girlfriend?
?CG: GUESS WHAT THIS CONVERSATION IS ABOUT! NOT THAT PARTICULAR TOPIC.
?CG: ALSO GUESS WHOSE BUSINESS THAT STILL ISN'T, FUCKING YOURS, THAT'S RIGHT.
CTG: pretty sure she is
CTG: or he thinks she is or something
CTG: made it pretty obvious when he started ranting at me months ago
CTG: back when i suspected these trolls were full of shit
CTG: but now look how far weve come
CTG: theres not any doubt left about that at all"
"?CG: OUR ROMANCE IS MUCH MORE COMPLICATED THAN THE JOKE THAT PASSES FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF THE CONCEPT.
?CG: YOU ONLY HAVE ONE QUADRANT! THAT'S JUST ABSURD.
CTG: right
CTG: sounds like its time to get a clue she is over you dude
CEB: what is so different about your romance?
CEB: what's a quadrant? how many do you have?
CTG: john god dammit stop embarrassing us
CTG: first of all weve got to be on record here as not giving a shit about that
CTG: second obviously theres gonna be 4 quadrants come on"
"?CG: JOHN, DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE HOW MANY E'S YOU JUST TYPED THERE.
?CG: THAT'S GOT TO STOP TOO.
CEB: what does?
?CG: STOP TALKING TO VRISKA. I'M FUCKING SERIOUS.
CEB: what!
CEB: no way. vriska's cool, i'll talk to her all i want!
?CG: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
?CG: YOU JACKASSES HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELVES INTO.
?CG: THEY'RE DANGEROUS, AND YOU'RE JUST BLUNDERING RIGHT INTO THEIR HYPERCOMPETITIVE MINDFUCK MURDER-THICKET.
?CG: THESE PSYCHO GIRLS HAVE ALREADY GOTTEN EACH OF YOU KILLED AT LEAST ONCE TO MY KNOWLEDGE.
CEB: well, yeah...
CEB: but terezi killed me in an alternate timeline, so that isn't too bad i guess.
CEB: plus, i am pretty sure that she is sorry about it."
"CEB: wait...
CEB: are you saying that vriska is interested in me?
CEB: like, romantically?
?CG: EGBERT JUST EARNED A FEW BRAIN POINTS!
?CG: HE HAS REACHED A NEW RUNG ON HIS ECHELADDER, "EASILY OUTFOXED BY SIMPLE UTENSILS"
?CG: "BUCKAROO"
?CG: OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT
CTG: smooth
CEB: oh man.
CEB: uh...
?CG: YES LET'S ALL HAVE A GREAT BIG OH MAN OVER THAT
?CG: AND THEN FUCKING CUT THE HORSESHIT FOREVER. SOUND GOOD?
CEB: i'm not sure what to think about this.
CEB: dave, what do you think i should do?"
"CEB: i don't think i have ever actually liked a girl before in that way, so i am not really sure what i am supposed to feel or do...
?CG: HOLY FUCK WHAT AM I EVEN READING HERE?????
CTG: doesnt concern you dude"
"CTG: john just a heads up in the future i think youre gonna spurn one of his awkward advances
CEB: uh oh!
?CG: JOHN DON'T LISTEN TO THIS FUCKER, HE'S THE WORST GUY AT GIVING ADVICE I'VE EVER SEEN.
CEB: yeah, i dunno dave, i have talked to karkat a lot and i really don't think he has a thing for me.
?CG: EXACTLY. JOHN ONCE AGAIN IS FLYING HIGH AS SMARTEST HUMAN.
?CG: AND JOHN, PURELY HYPOTHETICALLY, IF ONE OF US IN THE FUTURE DOES MAKE SOME SORT OF SOLICITATION YOU DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND...
?CG: BECAUSE OF PERHAPS SOME CULTURAL DIFFERENCES
?CG: I MEAN NO ONE IN PARTICULAR HERE
?CG: MAYBE TRY TO UNDERSTAND THAT PERSON MIGHT NOT BE THINKING TOO CLEARLY AT THAT MOMENT
CEB: uh..."
"EB: rose and jade?
CEB: so, uh...
CEB: you want us to like, date them?
?CG: WOULD IT REALLY FUCKING KILL YOU TO CONSIDER IT??????
?CG: I MEAN GOD. WHAT DO YOU EVEN THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE IN THIS GAME?
?CG: YOU'RE CREATING YOUR OWN UNIVERSE TO GO LIVE IN.
?CG: AND JUST HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR SPECIES IS SUPPOSED TO REPOPULATE ITSELF??????????? IDIOTS.
CTG: dude
CTG: no
CTG: just
CTG: stop"
ACTION: Connect to Jade
ACTION: Get hit with a pie by Nannasprite, sweet catch.
CONVO: Spritelog with Nannasprite: "JOHN: but nanna, did you know he is not really my dad? and also, i am not technically your grandson.
JOHN: you are actually sort of my mother.
NANNASPRITE: Of course I knew this, John! I have known for many years.
NANNASPRITE: I have also known that in a sense, you are my father as well. You were the one to push all those buttons, after all!"
"NANNASPRITE: You should have returned sooner! I could have given you this boon at a much lower rung.
JOHN: boon?
NANNASPRITE: Here, John. Take this."
ITEM: Sprite necklace
"JOHN: ok. what is it?
NANNASPRITE: You can use it to summon me wherever you go.
NANNASPRITE: Now we needn't endure those long spells without a good visit!
JOHN: oh cool, that is great!"
ACTION: Be Jade's server player, deploy cruxtruder, deploy totem lathe,, deploy alchemiter