CONVO: Pesterlog with Jade: "GG: are you ok john? your dream self i mean EB: oh, yeah. EB: i am pretty sure that i... EB: he? EB: am/is fine. EB: i woke up on the battlefield which was on fire, and had flaming bits of prospit everywhere. GG: :( GG: yes, but that was not prospit. that was its moon which was severed by the crazy derse agent EB: oh, you mean jack? GG: i dunno! EB: that is his name, karkat told me. EB: i saw him there too. EB: oh!!!!! EB: i also got your present, and it saved my life! " "EB: you have no idea how tempted i am to name her casey again. GG: hahahaha GG: again? EB: yes, i named a young salamander casey earlier, but then i left her at rose's house. GG: you were at roses house?? EB: yes, but she was asleep. EB: also, apparently i am supposed to marry rose. karkat said so. GG: what!!!! EB: it is true, it is a fact from an alien. GG: ugh he is so weird GG: you shouldnt listen to him! EB: heheh, i did not take him that seriously. EB: but karkat is cool, he is angry and funny." "EB: i've got it. EB: i will name her liv tyler. GG: ???? EB: the bunny. GG: :| GG: you mean from armageddon? EB: yeah! GG: john that is so stupid GG: but also kind of cute i guess GG: ok then the bunny will be named after your silly movie star fantasy crush EB: it's too bad i can't marry liv instead of rose. EB: the girl i mean, not the bunny. EB: but i guess she is probably dead now, along with all the other glamorous movie stars who come out to shine on the silver screen. EB: that's pretty sad." "EB: it's ok. EB: i was so confused and sad when i saw you lying there... EB: i'd rather not talk about it i guess. GG: i understand EB: but, i wonder... EB: if your dream self died... EB: then what were you just dreaming about now? GG: ummmmmmm GG: i think i would rather not talk about that either EB: ok, that's cool. EB: oh, also... EB: i found your ring. GG: you did???? EB: yes... EB: but then i woke up, and didn't have it anymore. EB: so i am not sure where it is now. GG: oh nooooooo GG: john that ring is really important, it belongs to the white queen! EB: oh, whoa. GG: when you go to sleep again, you should try to find it and keep it safe!" ACTION: Open cruxtruder CONVO: Pesterlog with Jade: "EB: ok, we have 10 minutes and 25 seconds. GG: hmmmm i wonder what the significance of that number is EB: why would it be significant? EB: numbers don't always need to have significance! GG: but they usually do! EB: ok, well the number is now less than it was, and therefore less significant." "EB: wait, are you saying we will prototype him? EB: like i did with nanna, to bring her ghost back to life? EB: as... EB: another ghost? GG: sure, why not! EB: i guess that makes a lot of sense, actually. GG: that is what i believe this game is for in part GG: you got to bring back your nanna, rose brought back her cat, i can bring back grandpa, and dave... GG: dave got to bring back a dead bird because of course he is too cool to have any dead family members EB: yeah, also he brought back himself from the future. EB: who... wasn't dead, but was going to die maybe? i dunno. EB: specifically to save my life, as well as yours, i think. GG: wait, he did???? EB: yes. GG: that is GG: soooo cooooool :O EB: it's pretty neat, i guess." "EB: we could put in something really lame, to make all the monsters weaker! EB: or at the very least, more ridiculous looking. EB: like one of these weird pictures of blue ladies lying around. EB: what's the deal with those, anyway?" CONVO: Pesterlog with Jade: "EB: what is this thing, anyway?? EB: and why is it blocking your transporter? GG: it is some sort of terrible creature my grandpa hunted GG: he called it the typheus minion GG: i always hated it! EB: typheus? EB: like the web browser? GG: i guess so GG: it is probably a coincidence though EB: hmm, i don't know... EB: if you think numbers always mean something, why wouldn't browser names?" "EB: i made it with my alchemiter. GG: john that is incredible GG: i cant wait to make stuff like that!!!!!! GG: except... GG: all my awesome stuff exploded with my room :( EB: then you will just have to make lots of NEW awesome stuff! GG: yay!!! EB: ok hold that thought, im going to yank this stupid monster off of the thing" ACTION: Yank monster off of the thing. CONVO: Pesterlog with Jade "GG: what is the problem!!!! EB: oh, nothing. EB: i am just dropping monsters all over the place, that is all." CONVO: Pesterlog with Rose "EB: rose, i have a question, and i am in a hurry! EB: so hurry up and answer!!! TT: Did you know your planet was on fire? EB: oh. EB: it is? TT: Yes. It makes a good light for reading, actually. EB: ok, haha, that's a confusing thing you said, but that topic will have to wait!" "TT: Sorry, John. TT: I'm just nervous about it. TT: About whether telling you what you definitely will or won't do will alter a predetermined outcome. TT: The result would be a splintered timeline, and we would all be sentenced to eventual oblivion. TT: I'm presently optimistic this has not happened yet, and this is still the alpha timeline. I'd like to keep it that way. EB: oh, wow. EB: you mean like when i died in another dimension, because terezi hornswoggled me? TT: Yes, sort of. TT: It isn't much fun, John. EB: what's not? TT: Living for months in an offshoot reality, waiting for the curtain to drop. EB: oh, ok, i see." ACTION: Wake up in the ocean of oil, lose Cosbytop and sprite necklace ACTION: throw PDA into the ocean CONVO: Pesterlog with Rose "TT: John. EB: blaaauuuuuuuuugh, what happened!!!!! TT: You were sleeping. EB: yes, i know! EB: on the corner of my ghost bed! EB: in the middle of an oil ocean! EB: for some reason!!! TT: Why were you sleeping? TT: Everywhere I look, I see boys taking naps." "EB: do you know if she's ok? TT: She's fine. TT: But you're not. EB: i'm not? TT: Remember how I said your planet was on fire? EB: oh yeah... EB: that didn't by any chance stop being a thing that was true, did it? TT: It did not. TT: Do you see that pinkish hue behind you, bleeding over the horizon? EB: fuck!!! EB: rose, this is all oil! it'll all just explode any second, won't it??? TT: I don't think the fire's rate of propagation is quite as fast as you're imagining. TT: But the danger is still significant. TT: Especially considering that your bed is sinking. EB: fuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!!" ACTION: Look to your right "EB: ok, thank you rose. EB: hey, how do you know these things anyway? EB: can you see me somehow? TT: Yes. TT: I have a crystal ball. EB: oh man, really? TT: Yes. EB: like a magic one? TT: I think so." "TT: My perception of the future has been informed by other sources. EB: like what? TT: Informants. EB: durrrrr. TT: Whispering gods, memories sifted from dreams, cryptic readings from unearthed talismans, conclusions drawn from riddles deciphered - every gambit you'd expect a quest to extend to an emerging seer. TT: Just as I presume an heir would be supplied with what's needed for his maturation, assuming he's looking for it. EB: oh... yeah. EB: point taken. i guess i should be looking, huh? TT: You should probably be doing what you're doing. EB: okay, so... EB: with what you've learned from your dreams and gods and magic and stuff... EB: do you have it all mapped out now? do you know everything? TT: I didn't know why you were asleep, did I? EB: yeah, but... EB: neither did i!" "EB: ok, buuuuuut... EB: i guess that's not all i'm talking about. EB: you seem a little different. EB: kind of, um... spooky? TT: Really? EB: i just mean that before, it felt like we were in this adventure together, figuring stuff out as we went along. EB: and now you have all the answers! because of magic, and other mysterious reasons! EB: and you want to use your powers to break the game, and i still don't really understand why, and... EB: bluh. TT: I'm not actually trying to caricaturize a grim sorcerer." "EB: i guess i just started worryin'... EB: that you are getting away from us! EB: because you know everything, and you're magic, and you have a crystal ball, and a salamander, and you are basically a wizard. EB: and that's cool, and it sure does sound fun... EB: but i kinda think it was more fun when you just did things like read books, and tell jokes. TT: I still read books and tell jokes. EB: BA-DUM PSHHH! TT: John, TT: That was mean. EB: sorry. :(" "EB: well, if you do not have any objection... EB: maybe later, i will drop by your planet again and rescue you, thus breaking the spooky spell put on you by your nefarious, shadowy masters. TT: Swoon! " "EB: please write some happy stories in your journal, about lively horses, and conspicuously not about wizards, or sadness. TT: ... "Happy?" TT: What is this strange, unsad emotion of which you speak? EB: yes, this is good. EB: you see rose, these are jokes. EB: this are what they look like, do not be alarmed. TT: Jokes? TT: Are those the things people say when they want unusual noises to come out of the pliable crescent-shaped holes sometimes found in people's faces? EB: laughs, rose. laaaughs. EB: also, those crescenty looking holes where laughs come out of? EB: those are smiles! EB: observe... :D" "EB: oh yeah. EB: what is this treasure, anyway? EB: and how's it gonna save us! TT: You'd probably be disappointed if I described it. EB: tell me anyway! TT: Ok. TT: It's called The Tumor. EB: ... EB: you're right, that is the shittiest sounding treasure i have ever heard." "TT: Incidentally, looks like you will have your own troll stuff to attend to shortly. EB: i will? TT: Yes. TT: Involving the one who hates you, and the one who likes you. EB: um... EB: which ones are those? TT: You don't have a guess? EB: uh... karkat and vriska? EB: oh god, i was right. there they are now. " CONVO: Pesterlog with Karkat: "EB: hey, shut up a second! EB: i need you to be nice for a change and do me a favor... EB: have you talked to jade recently? EB: can you tell me what happened to her?? CG: WHO THE FUCK IS JADE. EB: uh... EB: hmm. CG: JOHN, THE FACT THAT YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO THINK I CAN READ YOUR MIND JUST UNDERSCORES WHAT A HARROWING GODDAMN IDIOT YOU ARE. EB: jade is the girl who i am pretty sure just entered our session. EB: she is my client player. CG: OH, YOU MEAN THE ONE WHO FUCKS EVERYTHING UP." [S] JADE ENTER "CG: YOU MADE AN UNBEATABLE BOSS IS WHAT YOU DID. CG: THE IDIOT YOU CALL THE JADE HUMAN WENT AHEAD AND PROTOTYPED HER FREAK OF A LUSUS, WHILE YOU DECIDED TO TAKE A NAP FOR SOME REASON RATHER THAN DOING WHAT A LEADER IS SUPPOSED TO DO AND STOP HER FROM BEING SO FUCKING RETARDED. CG: YOUR VERSION OF JACK, WHO YOU WERE SOMEHOW DUMB ENOUGH TO ENTRUST WITH THE QUEEN'S RING, BECAME ESSENTIALLY INDESTRUCTIBLE. CG: HE THEN WENT ON A RAMPAGE THROUGH YOUR POINTLESS SESSION, WHICH HILARIOUSLY, WAS ALREADY A LOST CAUSE EVEN BEFORE THIS HAPPENED! CG: I AM JUST BESIDE MYSELF WITH THE SPECTACULAR BREADTH OF YOUR FAILURE. CG: AND IF THIS WASN'T BAD ENOUGH CG: YOUR "SOLUTION" LATER WOULD BE TO OPEN A RIFT IN SOME GLORIOUS GESTURE OF MEANINGLESS SUICIDE. CG: AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW CG: BUT THE RIFT YOU OPENED ENABLED HIM TO ENTER OUR SESSION, JUST AS WE WERE ABOUT TO CLAIM OUR PRIZE. CG: AND NOW WE'RE THE ONES WHO HAVE TO FUCKING DEAL WITH HIM! CG: SO THANKS A LOT, SHIT HEAD." ACTION: Engulf LOWAS in green fire CONVO: Pesterlog with Vriska "EB: um, sorry to cut this short, but this isn't really the best time to chat! EB: i am in the middle of an ocean of oil that is ablaze with a lot of green fire. EB: i need to figure out a way to escape! EB: unfortunately, i fell asleep for some reason, and my bed landed here. EB: i can't believe i was so stupid. AG: Don't 8eat yourself up a8out it! AG: I was the one who put you to sleep." "EB: why would you put me to sleep and put me in this predicament? AG: John, soon you will understand that you are meant to rise to gr8tness. AG: This can't possi8ly happen unless you are challenged. AG: There will 8e times when your limits are tested. This is one of those times! AG: I know this 8ecause I can see your future right here in front of me. You should trust me! EB: ok, but... EB: i kind of get that, but it's also kind of odd... EB: if you're seeing my future, and you know those things are the outcome, then why are you going back and... EB: i guess, involving yourself with these events? see what i mean? AG: Oh John, this should 8e so o8vious to you 8y now. AG: You are going to 8ecome a gr8 hero, that much is sure. AG: 8ut I want to 8e the one responsi8le for it! AG: And now I am pretty much guaranteed to 8e. AG: ::::)" "AG: You can do it, John. 8e the hero! AG: Just like in one of your movies a8out sweaty, rugged adult human males. EB: ah HA! EB: so you did watch that video I sent." "AG: Don't 8e a8surd, John. AG: Of course I realized that would happen. AG: It was pretty much the whole point, you goof! EB: what???????? EB: vriska, why would you do that! AG: Jegus, calm down. EB: but! EB: no! EB: why should i calm down when you just said you deliberately sabotaged all of us? AG: Relaaaaaaaax. AG: Listen, John. AG: Regardless of what I did, he is already here. AG: I know this consequence will 8e hard for you to accept, 8ut whenever you feel angry or confused a8out it, just repeat this to yourself." "AG: I did it 8ecause I wanted to 8e the one responsi8le for cre8ting him. EB: augh! EB: BUT WHYYYYYYYY! AG: 8ecause, John. AG: It only makes sense that I would be the one to cre8te him. AG: Since I am also going to 8e the one to kill him." "EB: er... EB: is luck actually a real thing? AG: Yes, and I've got all of it. I am completely untoucha8le. EB: you sound pretty cocky! you should be careful about that, that is totally how people have bigtime downfalls. EB: especially when they act kind of nefarious!!! AG: Nope, I don't have to 8e careful! Too lucky for caution to matter anymore. Them's the 8r8ks!" ACTION: Be puzzled about the Windy Thing ACTION: Do the Windy Thing ACTION: Become Heir Transparent
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ACT FIVE PT 3
EB: oh, yeah.
EB: i am pretty sure that i...
EB: he?
EB: am/is fine.
EB: i woke up on the battlefield which was on fire, and had flaming bits of prospit everywhere.
GG: :(
GG: yes, but that was not prospit. that was its moon which was severed by the crazy derse agent
EB: oh, you mean jack?
GG: i dunno!
EB: that is his name, karkat told me.
EB: i saw him there too.
EB: oh!!!!!
EB: i also got your present, and it saved my life! "
"EB: you have no idea how tempted i am to name her casey again.
GG: hahahaha
GG: again?
EB: yes, i named a young salamander casey earlier, but then i left her at rose's house.
GG: you were at roses house??
EB: yes, but she was asleep.
EB: also, apparently i am supposed to marry rose. karkat said so.
GG: what!!!!
EB: it is true, it is a fact from an alien.
GG: ugh he is so weird
GG: you shouldnt listen to him!
EB: heheh, i did not take him that seriously.
EB: but karkat is cool, he is angry and funny."
"EB: i've got it.
EB: i will name her liv tyler.
GG: ????
EB: the bunny.
GG: :|
GG: you mean from armageddon?
EB: yeah!
GG: john that is so stupid
GG: but also kind of cute i guess
GG: ok then the bunny will be named after your silly movie star fantasy crush
EB: it's too bad i can't marry liv instead of rose.
EB: the girl i mean, not the bunny.
EB: but i guess she is probably dead now, along with all the other glamorous movie stars who come out to shine on the silver screen.
EB: that's pretty sad."
"EB: it's ok.
EB: i was so confused and sad when i saw you lying there...
EB: i'd rather not talk about it i guess.
GG: i understand
EB: but, i wonder...
EB: if your dream self died...
EB: then what were you just dreaming about now?
GG: ummmmmmm
GG: i think i would rather not talk about that either
EB: ok, that's cool.
EB: oh, also...
EB: i found your ring.
GG: you did????
EB: yes...
EB: but then i woke up, and didn't have it anymore.
EB: so i am not sure where it is now.
GG: oh nooooooo
GG: john that ring is really important, it belongs to the white queen!
EB: oh, whoa.
GG: when you go to sleep again, you should try to find it and keep it safe!"
ACTION: Open cruxtruder
CONVO: Pesterlog with Jade: "EB: ok, we have 10 minutes and 25 seconds.
GG: hmmmm i wonder what the significance of that number is
EB: why would it be significant?
EB: numbers don't always need to have significance!
GG: but they usually do!
EB: ok, well the number is now less than it was, and therefore less significant."
"EB: wait, are you saying we will prototype him?
EB: like i did with nanna, to bring her ghost back to life?
EB: as...
EB: another ghost?
GG: sure, why not!
EB: i guess that makes a lot of sense, actually.
GG: that is what i believe this game is for in part
GG: you got to bring back your nanna, rose brought back her cat, i can bring back grandpa, and dave...
GG: dave got to bring back a dead bird because of course he is too cool to have any dead family members
EB: yeah, also he brought back himself from the future.
EB: who... wasn't dead, but was going to die maybe? i dunno.
EB: specifically to save my life, as well as yours, i think.
GG: wait, he did????
EB: yes.
GG: that is
GG: soooo cooooool :O
EB: it's pretty neat, i guess."
"EB: we could put in something really lame, to make all the monsters weaker!
EB: or at the very least, more ridiculous looking.
EB: like one of these weird pictures of blue ladies lying around.
EB: what's the deal with those, anyway?"
CONVO: Pesterlog with Jade: "EB: what is this thing, anyway??
EB: and why is it blocking your transporter?
GG: it is some sort of terrible creature my grandpa hunted
GG: he called it the typheus minion
GG: i always hated it!
EB: typheus?
EB: like the web browser?
GG: i guess so
GG: it is probably a coincidence though
EB: hmm, i don't know...
EB: if you think numbers always mean something, why wouldn't browser names?"
"EB: i made it with my alchemiter.
GG: john that is incredible
GG: i cant wait to make stuff like that!!!!!!
GG: except...
GG: all my awesome stuff exploded with my room :(
EB: then you will just have to make lots of NEW awesome stuff!
GG: yay!!!
EB: ok hold that thought, im going to yank this stupid monster off of the thing"
ACTION: Yank monster off of the thing.
CONVO: Pesterlog with Jade "GG: what is the problem!!!!
EB: oh, nothing.
EB: i am just dropping monsters all over the place, that is all."
CONVO: Pesterlog with Rose "EB: rose, i have a question, and i am in a hurry!
EB: so hurry up and answer!!!
TT: Did you know your planet was on fire?
EB: oh.
EB: it is?
TT: Yes. It makes a good light for reading, actually.
EB: ok, haha, that's a confusing thing you said, but that topic will have to wait!"
"TT: Sorry, John.
TT: I'm just nervous about it.
TT: About whether telling you what you definitely will or won't do will alter a predetermined outcome.
TT: The result would be a splintered timeline, and we would all be sentenced to eventual oblivion.
TT: I'm presently optimistic this has not happened yet, and this is still the alpha timeline. I'd like to keep it that way.
EB: oh, wow.
EB: you mean like when i died in another dimension, because terezi hornswoggled me?
TT: Yes, sort of.
TT: It isn't much fun, John.
EB: what's not?
TT: Living for months in an offshoot reality, waiting for the curtain to drop.
EB: oh, ok, i see."
ACTION: Wake up in the ocean of oil, lose Cosbytop and sprite necklace
ACTION: throw PDA into the ocean
CONVO: Pesterlog with Rose "TT: John.
EB: blaaauuuuuuuuugh, what happened!!!!!
TT: You were sleeping.
EB: yes, i know!
EB: on the corner of my ghost bed!
EB: in the middle of an oil ocean!
EB: for some reason!!!
TT: Why were you sleeping?
TT: Everywhere I look, I see boys taking naps."
"EB: do you know if she's ok?
TT: She's fine.
TT: But you're not.
EB: i'm not?
TT: Remember how I said your planet was on fire?
EB: oh yeah...
EB: that didn't by any chance stop being a thing that was true, did it?
TT: It did not.
TT: Do you see that pinkish hue behind you, bleeding over the horizon?
EB: fuck!!!
EB: rose, this is all oil! it'll all just explode any second, won't it???
TT: I don't think the fire's rate of propagation is quite as fast as you're imagining.
TT: But the danger is still significant.
TT: Especially considering that your bed is sinking.
EB: fuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!!"
ACTION: Look to your right "EB: ok, thank you rose.
EB: hey, how do you know these things anyway?
EB: can you see me somehow?
TT: Yes.
TT: I have a crystal ball.
EB: oh man, really?
TT: Yes.
EB: like a magic one?
TT: I think so."
"TT: My perception of the future has been informed by other sources.
EB: like what?
TT: Informants.
EB: durrrrr.
TT: Whispering gods, memories sifted from dreams, cryptic readings from unearthed talismans, conclusions drawn from riddles deciphered - every gambit you'd expect a quest to extend to an emerging seer.
TT: Just as I presume an heir would be supplied with what's needed for his maturation, assuming he's looking for it.
EB: oh... yeah.
EB: point taken. i guess i should be looking, huh?
TT: You should probably be doing what you're doing.
EB: okay, so...
EB: with what you've learned from your dreams and gods and magic and stuff...
EB: do you have it all mapped out now? do you know everything?
TT: I didn't know why you were asleep, did I?
EB: yeah, but...
EB: neither did i!"
"EB: ok, buuuuuut...
EB: i guess that's not all i'm talking about.
EB: you seem a little different.
EB: kind of, um... spooky?
TT: Really?
EB: i just mean that before, it felt like we were in this adventure together, figuring stuff out as we went along.
EB: and now you have all the answers! because of magic, and other mysterious reasons!
EB: and you want to use your powers to break the game, and i still don't really understand why, and...
EB: bluh.
TT: I'm not actually trying to caricaturize a grim sorcerer."
"EB: i guess i just started worryin'...
EB: that you are getting away from us!
EB: because you know everything, and you're magic, and you have a crystal ball, and a salamander, and you are basically a wizard.
EB: and that's cool, and it sure does sound fun...
EB: but i kinda think it was more fun when you just did things like read books, and tell jokes.
TT: I still read books and tell jokes.
EB: BA-DUM PSHHH!
TT: John,
TT: That was mean.
EB: sorry. :("
"EB: well, if you do not have any objection...
EB: maybe later, i will drop by your planet again and rescue you, thus breaking the spooky spell put on you by your nefarious, shadowy masters.
TT: Swoon! "
"EB: please write some happy stories in your journal, about lively horses, and conspicuously not about wizards, or sadness.
TT: ... "Happy?"
TT: What is this strange, unsad emotion of which you speak?
EB: yes, this is good.
EB: you see rose, these are jokes.
EB: this are what they look like, do not be alarmed.
TT: Jokes?
TT: Are those the things people say when they want unusual noises to come out of the pliable crescent-shaped holes sometimes found in people's faces?
EB: laughs, rose. laaaughs.
EB: also, those crescenty looking holes where laughs come out of?
EB: those are smiles!
EB: observe... :D"
"EB: oh yeah.
EB: what is this treasure, anyway?
EB: and how's it gonna save us!
TT: You'd probably be disappointed if I described it.
EB: tell me anyway!
TT: Ok.
TT: It's called The Tumor.
EB: ...
EB: you're right, that is the shittiest sounding treasure i have ever heard."
"TT: Incidentally, looks like you will have your own troll stuff to attend to shortly.
EB: i will?
TT: Yes.
TT: Involving the one who hates you, and the one who likes you.
EB: um...
EB: which ones are those?
TT: You don't have a guess?
EB: uh... karkat and vriska?
EB: oh god, i was right. there they are now. "
CONVO: Pesterlog with Karkat: "EB: hey, shut up a second!
EB: i need you to be nice for a change and do me a favor...
EB: have you talked to jade recently?
EB: can you tell me what happened to her??
CG: WHO THE FUCK IS JADE.
EB: uh...
EB: hmm.
CG: JOHN, THE FACT THAT YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO THINK I CAN READ YOUR MIND JUST UNDERSCORES WHAT A HARROWING GODDAMN IDIOT YOU ARE.
EB: jade is the girl who i am pretty sure just entered our session.
EB: she is my client player.
CG: OH, YOU MEAN THE ONE WHO FUCKS EVERYTHING UP."
[S] JADE ENTER
"CG: YOU MADE AN UNBEATABLE BOSS IS WHAT YOU DID.
CG: THE IDIOT YOU CALL THE JADE HUMAN WENT AHEAD AND PROTOTYPED HER FREAK OF A LUSUS, WHILE YOU DECIDED TO TAKE A NAP FOR SOME REASON RATHER THAN DOING WHAT A LEADER IS SUPPOSED TO DO AND STOP HER FROM BEING SO FUCKING RETARDED.
CG: YOUR VERSION OF JACK, WHO YOU WERE SOMEHOW DUMB ENOUGH TO ENTRUST WITH THE QUEEN'S RING, BECAME ESSENTIALLY INDESTRUCTIBLE.
CG: HE THEN WENT ON A RAMPAGE THROUGH YOUR POINTLESS SESSION, WHICH HILARIOUSLY, WAS ALREADY A LOST CAUSE EVEN BEFORE THIS HAPPENED!
CG: I AM JUST BESIDE MYSELF WITH THE SPECTACULAR BREADTH OF YOUR FAILURE.
CG: AND IF THIS WASN'T BAD ENOUGH
CG: YOUR "SOLUTION" LATER WOULD BE TO OPEN A RIFT IN SOME GLORIOUS GESTURE OF MEANINGLESS SUICIDE.
CG: AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW
CG: BUT THE RIFT YOU OPENED ENABLED HIM TO ENTER OUR SESSION, JUST AS WE WERE ABOUT TO CLAIM OUR PRIZE.
CG: AND NOW WE'RE THE ONES WHO HAVE TO FUCKING DEAL WITH HIM!
CG: SO THANKS A LOT, SHIT HEAD."
ACTION: Engulf LOWAS in green fire
CONVO: Pesterlog with Vriska "EB: um, sorry to cut this short, but this isn't really the best time to chat!
EB: i am in the middle of an ocean of oil that is ablaze with a lot of green fire.
EB: i need to figure out a way to escape!
EB: unfortunately, i fell asleep for some reason, and my bed landed here.
EB: i can't believe i was so stupid.
AG: Don't 8eat yourself up a8out it!
AG: I was the one who put you to sleep."
"EB: why would you put me to sleep and put me in this predicament?
AG: John, soon you will understand that you are meant to rise to gr8tness.
AG: This can't possi8ly happen unless you are challenged.
AG: There will 8e times when your limits are tested. This is one of those times!
AG: I know this 8ecause I can see your future right here in front of me. You should trust me!
EB: ok, but...
EB: i kind of get that, but it's also kind of odd...
EB: if you're seeing my future, and you know those things are the outcome, then why are you going back and...
EB: i guess, involving yourself with these events? see what i mean?
AG: Oh John, this should 8e so o8vious to you 8y now.
AG: You are going to 8ecome a gr8 hero, that much is sure.
AG: 8ut I want to 8e the one responsi8le for it!
AG: And now I am pretty much guaranteed to 8e.
AG: ::::)"
"AG: You can do it, John. 8e the hero!
AG: Just like in one of your movies a8out sweaty, rugged adult human males.
EB: ah HA!
EB: so you did watch that video I sent."
"AG: Don't 8e a8surd, John.
AG: Of course I realized that would happen.
AG: It was pretty much the whole point, you goof!
EB: what????????
EB: vriska, why would you do that!
AG: Jegus, calm down.
EB: but!
EB: no!
EB: why should i calm down when you just said you deliberately sabotaged all of us?
AG: Relaaaaaaaax.
AG: Listen, John.
AG: Regardless of what I did, he is already here.
AG: I know this consequence will 8e hard for you to accept, 8ut whenever you feel angry or confused a8out it, just repeat this to yourself."
"AG: I did it 8ecause I wanted to 8e the one responsi8le for cre8ting him.
EB: augh!
EB: BUT WHYYYYYYYY!
AG: 8ecause, John.
AG: It only makes sense that I would be the one to cre8te him.
AG: Since I am also going to 8e the one to kill him."
"EB: er...
EB: is luck actually a real thing?
AG: Yes, and I've got all of it. I am completely untoucha8le.
EB: you sound pretty cocky! you should be careful about that, that is totally how people have bigtime downfalls.
EB: especially when they act kind of nefarious!!!
AG: Nope, I don't have to 8e careful! Too lucky for caution to matter anymore. Them's the 8r8ks!"
ACTION: Be puzzled about the Windy Thing
ACTION: Do the Windy Thing
ACTION: Become Heir Transparent