A memory, three months later the actual thing, three months later I showed up, three months after I showed up it'll be your birthday. Weird how it's in three, isn't it?
[It means nothing.] ...are you going to keep pacing, or are you going to sit down again?
[Somewhere in the back of his head, he realizes that yes, he is a shitty father/babysitter because a hand comes up to flop over his eyes and scrub at his face.]
Okay. I have zero plans to forget you and I am starting to think you would not let me forget you either way. [Which he doesn't mind. He prefers remembering Dave.]
I literally had this conversation with Yuri last month.
[ JUST SAYING, BRO.
...
he runs his left hand through his hair, looking more seventeen than seventy for a second, before he drifts back over to sit on the edge of his own bed. he is not going to try to sleep again; he's unlikely to do anything but avoid that from now on until he hits some other kind of breaking point, especially when all his cat naps end up with him in other people's dreams or them in his. ]
...Anyway. I told him back then that it was a dumb idea regardless of what I wanted or missed, and I was right. Or...I know that probably had nothin' to do with it logically, but I still regret admitting it.
[Okay but. John's still on Dave's bed so I guess now they're both here and he's watching Dave for a minute and not doing much to sit up or move.]
...okay, I can see your point. [He's apparently not sleeping then either since Dave's wound up, but that's fine.] Logically, you are right, that probably had nothing to do with it since we still do not know why people just...stop remembering stuff. But it still sucks.
[ well. he doesn't kick john off? but he also doesn't close the distance at all like he did at the party, or after yuri left. there's something else going on inside of him, probably, but as usual almost none of it shows on dave's face. ]
Yeah, maybe. You should get back to sleep, dude. I'm pretty sure you won't end up there again.
[He shouldn't expect himself to know exactly how to fix it. Dave might be his best friend and there might be years of history he's still remembering and at least a month and a half of other stuff in this life, but when he gets like this John has no idea how to reach him in his head. He doesn't know what he should ask or even if he should, so instead...he shrugs.]
I'm not really tired. [Not after that, fuck no.] I was probably going to throw on a movie or write something or...whatever. I have not really decided.
what he comes up with after a few seconds is a cd, and he goes over to his laptop to start fucking around there. it takes a few minutes because he doesn't touch time at all; he just starts pulling some tracks off of the cd, and some off of his hard drive, and throws together a tracklist.
it's all instrumental, and most of it shit he did on his own or with rose, because none of it is from a past life. some of it is better than other parts, and a lot of it is techno, but he chooses tracks that are slower and quieter.
then he hits play after making sure things will loop after it gets through all the tracks. ]
[He doesn't budge but he gets the hint, shifting again to lay on his back and stare at the ceiling. Given there's space between them, he also folds his arms behind his head.]
[ i mean that's a huge lie but it's delivered in dave's even, casual tone and maybe there's a reason he actually needs to take his shades off to make sure people know he's telling the truth, sometimes. there's a reason it can even be a gesture.
his arms cross over his chest, and he lets his eyes shut even if he knows he won't sleep again tonight. ]
[He doesn't reply. But he's quiet for a few moments as he tries to think.]
...I liked it a lot whatever it was. [He doesn't remember, but he knows that much at least by proxy of who he is and who Dave is.] Don't. Take what I do and don't remember as a sign of our friendship. I would remember everything if I could, but I know I am missing huge pieces and that is really shitty.
It doesn't what you remember from here on out, as long as you don't forget me. Even if you did I'd still want to be friends. That wasn't why I asked, I just...wanted to know if you remembered that or not.
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[ a vague hand gesture, but he doesn't call anything else out. ]
I remembered it in march, but I got it back in june.
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A memory, three months later the actual thing, three months later I showed up, three months after I showed up it'll be your birthday. Weird how it's in three, isn't it?
[It means nothing.] ...are you going to keep pacing, or are you going to sit down again?
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[ so apparently that's the part he's objecting to. ]
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[Dave, what the fuck.]
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[ look. ]
...I don't want you to forget about me, okay? So that's not what it is.
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Okay. I have zero plans to forget you and I am starting to think you would not let me forget you either way. [Which he doesn't mind. He prefers remembering Dave.]
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[ ergo, friendship bracelets, much as he admitted he wANTED one, or at least even just matching keychains, are Not Allowed.
this is stupid probably but cut him some slack here. ]
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[A beat.] ...I stand by that I am not going to forget though. Retrospec will have to fight me on that.
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[ JUST SAYING, BRO.
...
he runs his left hand through his hair, looking more seventeen than seventy for a second, before he drifts back over to sit on the edge of his own bed. he is not going to try to sleep again; he's unlikely to do anything but avoid that from now on until he hits some other kind of breaking point, especially when all his cat naps end up with him in other people's dreams or them in his. ]
...Anyway. I told him back then that it was a dumb idea regardless of what I wanted or missed, and I was right. Or...I know that probably had nothin' to do with it logically, but I still regret admitting it.
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...okay, I can see your point. [He's apparently not sleeping then either since Dave's wound up, but that's fine.] Logically, you are right, that probably had nothing to do with it since we still do not know why people just...stop remembering stuff. But it still sucks.
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Yeah, maybe. You should get back to sleep, dude. I'm pretty sure you won't end up there again.
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I'm not really tired. [Not after that, fuck no.] I was probably going to throw on a movie or write something or...whatever. I have not really decided.
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[ he has to get up and actually go over to dig through his closet. ]
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what he comes up with after a few seconds is a cd, and he goes over to his laptop to start fucking around there. it takes a few minutes because he doesn't touch time at all; he just starts pulling some tracks off of the cd, and some off of his hard drive, and throws together a tracklist.
it's all instrumental, and most of it shit he did on his own or with rose, because none of it is from a past life. some of it is better than other parts, and a lot of it is techno, but he chooses tracks that are slower and quieter.
then he hits play after making sure things will loop after it gets through all the tracks. ]
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He still doesn't move, but he lays still and lets himself listen for a little while.]
…I like it.
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[ ...but john's in his bed so he'll just go back to sit on the edge, eventually at least kind of laying on his back way off to the side, but. ]
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We'll see. Like I said, I am pretty awake and trance usually doesn't work on me.
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[ ugh.
he reaches up and tries to pull john back down. john's kind of still stronger, so? does it work? let's stay tuned. ]
...lay down and zone out for a little, will you?
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Are you going to do the same?
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[ i mean that's a huge lie but it's delivered in dave's even, casual tone and maybe there's a reason he actually needs to take his shades off to make sure people know he's telling the truth, sometimes. there's a reason it can even be a gesture.
his arms cross over his chest, and he lets his eyes shut even if he knows he won't sleep again tonight. ]
- do you even remember what I got you?
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...I liked it a lot whatever it was. [He doesn't remember, but he knows that much at least by proxy of who he is and who Dave is.] Don't. Take what I do and don't remember as a sign of our friendship. I would remember everything if I could, but I know I am missing huge pieces and that is really shitty.
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[ ... ]
It doesn't what you remember from here on out, as long as you don't forget me. Even if you did I'd still want to be friends. That wasn't why I asked, I just...wanted to know if you remembered that or not.
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