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[windeity]

JOHN EGBERT | BLUE | #0715CD
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[parodeity]

[ rapid mental calculation:

1) like, obviously yes, he's not gonna say no to john
2) at least he'll know where the fuck john is for once
3) however, this might make it easier for john to tell dave does not sleep
4) except he has a bedroom and john said the couch
5) he can just stay awake in his bedroom and simply not clean the house or wander around aimlessly like normal

so yeah ok ]

Sure, if you want. [ he's not sure why john wants but. whatever. maybe john doesn't trust him not to time travel again. ]

[windeity]

[Nobody said John thought his plans through all the time, but he brightens a little and flashes a grin at Dave.]

Sweet. It'll be like a sleepover then. [Why the fuck not. If they pretend things will be fine, maybe they will be.]

[parodeity]

Yeah, I'll bury you in blankets and you can avoid pulling pranks.

[ in separate rooms because he genuinely assumes the couch will be a thing and won't...argue it...right now... ]

[windeity]

Do you really think that blankets will stop me?

[parodeity]

No pranks under my roof is a house rule?

[windeity]

That is a really boring house rule, Dave. But fine. No pranks in the house.

[parodeity]

[ huh. he didn't actually expect that one to work and he just kind of shrugs at john and starts to head back. ]

...Come on. The couch is pretty clean and so are all the blankets. I've been keeping up with the housework.

[windeity]

[John only argues on the dumb shit but this is so minute he leaves it alone. He follows along though.]

So I figured. [He assumed, given how things were going.] It's fine, whatever works.

[parodeity]

This is a five star hotel and you better be grateful?

[ it's not. it's meticulously clean when they finally get there - still with dave's weird decorating scheme - but it absolutely isn't a five star hotel. it's a little too old-fashioned for that.

dave waves john towards the couch and disappears to go grab some blankets. ]

You can move Tibia out of the way. Careful-like, she's a lady.

[windeity]

[He grins because he doesn't think it requires a response as he enters the house, glancing around before he nods and looks at the skeleton.]

Okay. Where should I put her anyway?

[parodeity]

Armchair by the window works. [ beware of her skull popping off ]

[windeity]

[He'll bridalcarry the skeleton to the armchair, setting her down and folding her hands in her lap like a proper lady. Once that's done, he wanders back to the couch and has a seat, turning to see where Dave's going next.]

[parodeity]

[ he just went to go get blankets and a pillow, which he returns with to hand off to john. ]

Need a bedtime story, or are you good? I could probably recite some choice Seuss if need be.

[windeity]

Well I was going to say no but now I kind of want to see that, yeah. [He's making a little nest with his new blankets and fluffing the pillow before sort of tipping over to lay down.]

[parodeity]

[ dave makes sure the blankets are secure before perching on the arm of the couch, hands loose in his lap. ] Fine. I ain't doing more than one, though. So...did I ever tell you that Mrs. McCave [ and it's clear maybe that he's started reciting something or another in the same quiet monotone john may be getting used to by now ] had twenty-three sons and she named them all Dave?

[ not quite a twitch of his lips, but there's something like wry humor in the way he moves his mouth. ]

Well, she did. And that wasn't a smart thing to do. You see, when she wants one and calls out, 'Yoo-Hoo! Come into the house, Dave!' she doesn't get one. [ he picked this poem for like obvious biased reasons. ] All twenty-three Daves of hers come on the run! This makes things quite difficult at the McCaves', as you can imagine, with so many Daves.

And often she wishes that, when they were born, she had named one of them Bodkin Van Horn. And one of them Hoos-Foos. And one of them Snimm. And one of them Hot-Shot. And one Sunny Jim. And one of them Shadrack. And one of them Blinkey. And one of them Stuffy. And one of them Stinkey. Another one Putt-Putt. Another one Moon Face. Another one Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face. And one of them Ziggy. And one Soggy Muff. One Buffalo Bill. And one Biffalo Buff. And one of them Sneepy. And one Weepy Weed. And one Paris Garters. And one Harris Tweed. And one of them Sir Michael Carmichael Zutt. And one of them Oliver Boliver Butt. And one of them Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate....but she didn't do it. And now it's too late.

[ why did he memorize this. ]

[windeity]

[I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS REAL.

Anyway he's essentially tucked in for bed and doesn't seem to register that's actually what's going on because he's still tired and he's listening and...

the tone is still novelty but it's comfortable and familiar now and he doesn't exactly drift off to sleep given Dave's making him laugh.]

You are definitely making that one up! There's no way that is a real story...is it?

[parodeity]

It's definitely 100% genuine Seuss, fuck you. I wouldn't lie about a master wordsmith, but I also wasn't going to go for one of his mainstream hits like green eggs and ham? [ dave is definitely tucking john in but the question is how much does he notice himself ]

[windeity]

You would definitely try to feed me bullshit about Seuss, dude. [John would also 100% buy it. Neither of them are apparently registering or caring that this is how this is going but John shifts in the blankets.]

...you ever wonder what green eggs and ham actually tasted like that Sam wanted the other guy to eat them so bad?

[parodeity]

Well, now I'm wondering. But green food may be a too soon kinda thing. God I miss color - also yeah maybe I'd mislead you but I'm not this time. I googled poems for Dave once.

[ why ]

[windeity]

I agree with a lot of what you just said but I also kind of need to ask why you were googling poems for Dave in the first place. New rap?

[parodeity]

Nah, it was in February like when we were eleven or twelve. You did the class valentine thing and so did Rose? I wanted to know what an authentically terrible class mandated valentine for me could look like.

[windeity]

I don't know if people use Dr. Seuss in valentines but I guess in theory that makes sense. Was it everything you hoped and dreamed it would be?

[parodeity]

Ehhhh. I think the experience loses something without candy taped inside printed out cards and that look of suppressed rebellion that kids get when adults make them do something dumb and or bond with one another?

[windeity]

You have never truly lived until you're forced to make a glittery mailbox for your classmates to begrudgingly shove store-bought cards and overpriced candy into. But at the same time it was fun? It was nice having something like that to look forward to.

[parodeity]

See, there's just some shit the homeschooling experience can't replicate. Maybe we should float the idea of arts and crafts hour.