[ - well those words get him to tense up for some reason, and after a second dave pulls back and slides off of his bed. once he’s standing he stretches his arms out and cracks his hands, apparently trying to cover the abscond as just...this. ]
[Siiiiigh. He's just going to flop on his back and sprawl. On Dave's bed, apparently.]
Then? I only remember the letter. I do not have it. [He has another letter he hasn't told Dave about. He thinks for a minute.] ...good to know that even back then I thought you were cool.
[ well yeah of course john doesn’t have the letter? dave flips through his inventory and tosses the card out at john. he keeps the things he is unwilling to lose in his sylladex, and he has had the card on him the entire time he has known john here. ]
--you've. Been carrying it around. [He sounds incredulous but he's also holding it up to squint at it before flipping on a low reading lamp to see.] I take that back, wow, my drawing really sucked back then.
[Trying to lighten the mood? A little. And yet...]
This sounds about right though. [In line with what he imagines he would have thought back then, in line with his thoughts now. He doesn't clarify which.]
A memory, three months later the actual thing, three months later I showed up, three months after I showed up it'll be your birthday. Weird how it's in three, isn't it?
[It means nothing.] ...are you going to keep pacing, or are you going to sit down again?
[Somewhere in the back of his head, he realizes that yes, he is a shitty father/babysitter because a hand comes up to flop over his eyes and scrub at his face.]
Okay. I have zero plans to forget you and I am starting to think you would not let me forget you either way. [Which he doesn't mind. He prefers remembering Dave.]
I literally had this conversation with Yuri last month.
[ JUST SAYING, BRO.
...
he runs his left hand through his hair, looking more seventeen than seventy for a second, before he drifts back over to sit on the edge of his own bed. he is not going to try to sleep again; he's unlikely to do anything but avoid that from now on until he hits some other kind of breaking point, especially when all his cat naps end up with him in other people's dreams or them in his. ]
...Anyway. I told him back then that it was a dumb idea regardless of what I wanted or missed, and I was right. Or...I know that probably had nothin' to do with it logically, but I still regret admitting it.
[Okay but. John's still on Dave's bed so I guess now they're both here and he's watching Dave for a minute and not doing much to sit up or move.]
...okay, I can see your point. [He's apparently not sleeping then either since Dave's wound up, but that's fine.] Logically, you are right, that probably had nothing to do with it since we still do not know why people just...stop remembering stuff. But it still sucks.
[ well. he doesn't kick john off? but he also doesn't close the distance at all like he did at the party, or after yuri left. there's something else going on inside of him, probably, but as usual almost none of it shows on dave's face. ]
Yeah, maybe. You should get back to sleep, dude. I'm pretty sure you won't end up there again.
[He shouldn't expect himself to know exactly how to fix it. Dave might be his best friend and there might be years of history he's still remembering and at least a month and a half of other stuff in this life, but when he gets like this John has no idea how to reach him in his head. He doesn't know what he should ask or even if he should, so instead...he shrugs.]
I'm not really tired. [Not after that, fuck no.] I was probably going to throw on a movie or write something or...whatever. I have not really decided.
what he comes up with after a few seconds is a cd, and he goes over to his laptop to start fucking around there. it takes a few minutes because he doesn't touch time at all; he just starts pulling some tracks off of the cd, and some off of his hard drive, and throws together a tracklist.
it's all instrumental, and most of it shit he did on his own or with rose, because none of it is from a past life. some of it is better than other parts, and a lot of it is techno, but he chooses tracks that are slower and quieter.
then he hits play after making sure things will loop after it gets through all the tracks. ]
no subject
no subject
That’s not what they are.
no subject
Then? I only remember the letter. I do not have it. [He has another letter he hasn't told Dave about. He thinks for a minute.] ...good to know that even back then I thought you were cool.
no subject
no subject
[Trying to lighten the mood? A little. And yet...]
This sounds about right though. [In line with what he imagines he would have thought back then, in line with his thoughts now. He doesn't clarify which.]
no subject
[ a vague hand gesture, but he doesn't call anything else out. ]
I remembered it in march, but I got it back in june.
no subject
A memory, three months later the actual thing, three months later I showed up, three months after I showed up it'll be your birthday. Weird how it's in three, isn't it?
[It means nothing.] ...are you going to keep pacing, or are you going to sit down again?
no subject
[ so apparently that's the part he's objecting to. ]
no subject
[Dave, what the fuck.]
no subject
[ look. ]
...I don't want you to forget about me, okay? So that's not what it is.
no subject
Okay. I have zero plans to forget you and I am starting to think you would not let me forget you either way. [Which he doesn't mind. He prefers remembering Dave.]
no subject
[ ergo, friendship bracelets, much as he admitted he wANTED one, or at least even just matching keychains, are Not Allowed.
this is stupid probably but cut him some slack here. ]
no subject
no subject
no subject
[A beat.] ...I stand by that I am not going to forget though. Retrospec will have to fight me on that.
no subject
[ JUST SAYING, BRO.
...
he runs his left hand through his hair, looking more seventeen than seventy for a second, before he drifts back over to sit on the edge of his own bed. he is not going to try to sleep again; he's unlikely to do anything but avoid that from now on until he hits some other kind of breaking point, especially when all his cat naps end up with him in other people's dreams or them in his. ]
...Anyway. I told him back then that it was a dumb idea regardless of what I wanted or missed, and I was right. Or...I know that probably had nothin' to do with it logically, but I still regret admitting it.
no subject
...okay, I can see your point. [He's apparently not sleeping then either since Dave's wound up, but that's fine.] Logically, you are right, that probably had nothing to do with it since we still do not know why people just...stop remembering stuff. But it still sucks.
no subject
Yeah, maybe. You should get back to sleep, dude. I'm pretty sure you won't end up there again.
no subject
I'm not really tired. [Not after that, fuck no.] I was probably going to throw on a movie or write something or...whatever. I have not really decided.
no subject
[ he has to get up and actually go over to dig through his closet. ]
no subject
no subject
what he comes up with after a few seconds is a cd, and he goes over to his laptop to start fucking around there. it takes a few minutes because he doesn't touch time at all; he just starts pulling some tracks off of the cd, and some off of his hard drive, and throws together a tracklist.
it's all instrumental, and most of it shit he did on his own or with rose, because none of it is from a past life. some of it is better than other parts, and a lot of it is techno, but he chooses tracks that are slower and quieter.
then he hits play after making sure things will loop after it gets through all the tracks. ]
no subject
He still doesn't move, but he lays still and lets himself listen for a little while.]
…I like it.
no subject
[ ...but john's in his bed so he'll just go back to sit on the edge, eventually at least kind of laying on his back way off to the side, but. ]
no subject
We'll see. Like I said, I am pretty awake and trance usually doesn't work on me.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)