RECOLLÉ INBOX 3.0

[windeity]

JOHN EGBERT

"We came, we saw, we kicked its ass."

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

aka




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also casually puts his font here for tagging not on my laptop whoops
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normal font too!

art by doomyz on tumblr, found via reblog here

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Comments

[windeity]

i owe you roughly seven and a half dates, yes.
but doing something outside of our normal rotation sounds fine! you meant this coming monday?

[Ah yes, month three in which John just thinks this is all coincidental.]

[parodeity]

[ month three in which dave tricks his boyfriend into taking him out on the 12th...or at least phoning him ]

yes
maybe we should go more stereotypically datey than usual to make up for some of the misses
like
we totally skipped our first valentines ever
a prime chance to dress up and also eat your feelings
or maybe the second doesnt happen when dating idk
but anyway does that sound at all fun or like
pizza and roller skating or

you get some points for keeping track ftr

[windeity]

we did, which actually sucks! i had plans for us and everything and they maybe sort of involved eating our feelings but they would have (hopefully) been happy feelings?
but i would be okay with a stereotypical lowkey pizza and skating date.
if you'll let me make up for valentine's later, that is.
and of course i kept track! i keep track of those things.

[parodeity]

[ goddamnit john. dave should have definitely led with which thing he wanted to do specifically, but vaguely dancing around topics frequently means john has no idea what's up.

i mean sure if you want to do that
but anyway so skating and pizza monday?
i can kick your ass at ddr
the usual
also since when have you kept track of those things this is news to me

[windeity]

something on monday for sure, yes.
also you would definitely kick my ass at ddr.
and i started keeping track of those things the minute you were out of my sight? duh, dave.

[parodeity]

[ AND YET HE CAN'T TRACK HE 12TH this is somehow endearing ]

well
i wont complain if you do make them all up with me but also im not actually holding them against you
in some dating ledger
for the record
i just miss doing things with you

[windeity]

i want to make up for all of them, it might just take a while.
i miss doing things with you, too.
the last week's been recovery mode but i think we are ready to venture out into the world or whatever.

[parodeity]

i feel like we should google date ideas
only like
"stupid date ideas"
"weird date ideas"

hang on now i have to see the top results

1. Dress up like a hawk and have your date dress up like a rabbit. Have her jump out first; jump out later, trying to land as close to them as possible.

oh internet you never let me down

[windeity]

i cannot tell if that is a real thing or the internet and that's just sad.
please don't dress up like a hawk. or a rabbit.

[parodeity]

dude i dont love you enough to make akwete a real thing

i mean
i guess i would dress up in a fursuit if you wanted but id mock you horribly the entire time and also please dont ever ask

anyway some of these arent TERRIBLE?

4. Go to a costume store and try on superhero and super villain costumes; have a Grand Epic Battle in the store.
7. Write a song together and perform it using kitchen items.
10. Go onto a forum and try to force a totally inane and inept meme.
42. Carry long poles around with you everywhere. When you need to step over a tiny object, don't. Vault it instead.
47. Go to a chicken farm. Or chicken museum.
48. Come to think of it, find weird museums nearby and make it "Museum Day".
58. Take pictures of people and create backstories for them, as well as stories in the present tense.

i do that one already ftr

72. Profess your love the only way truly possible in today's world: Make a t-shirt on CafePress with your names on it.
75. Invent an urban legend.
83. Overthrow the British monarchy and establish a new government that isn't anarchistic.

i dont think thats the word they want but ok

85. Watch old B-movies just to make fun of them.

[windeity]

thanks. also i am not jade so i am pretty sure a fursuit is off the table.

some of these actually sound kind of fun.
are chicken museums real?
58 was a given.
also i am pretty sure 85 would end in not even making fun of them but just watching them.

so yeah. i am pretty into these ideas.

[parodeity]

i have no idea

http://www.thomasmailaender.com/chicken-museum/ nvm apparently yes
shit why would i totally go there

[windeity]

i should be offended this exists but i cannot even bring myself to be surprised.
why WOULD you go there?

[parodeity]

oh like you can fucking talk youd totally take me there
that negates your ability to be offended or appalled

[windeity]

you are very certain of that.
(i mean you are correct but also wow?)

[parodeity]

you cant tell me the idea of going to a place where chickens can admire fine artwork doesnt sound like a good time egbert
because you would be a liar if you tried

[windeity]

do chickens have the brain capacity to be able to admire art? i am genuinely curious here.
also whatever. it just means i drag you somewhere weird in return.

[parodeity]

is it really dragging if were both going along willingly

[windeity]

probably not.
so i guess that counts as a date then if we ever take off for this chicken museum.

[parodeity]

tbh i just consider any outing we do together solo to be a date

[windeity]

that makes sense to me. i would call those dates too.

[parodeity]

scale of 1 to 10 how dorky is your smile rn

[windeity]

[There's suddenly a picture sent and it looks like John definitely took this from an angle he's trying not to get caught. It's pretty similar to this.

Let him live.]

[parodeity]

[ absently saves it to his files ]

so a 27
excellent
also nice moves on midclass selfie taking
swooning over that ability tbh

[windeity]

i have long since figured out that the way to your heart is through memes and selfies so i've been practicing.