JOHN EGBERT
"We came, we saw, we kicked its ass."
VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION
aka

also casually puts his font here for tagging not on my laptop whoopsnormal font too!
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[A nod, before she frowns a little.]
Keith is the worst person in the world.
[Ah.]
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He's one of your partners, too? He threw a shovel at me. [That sounds bad.] I caught it, it was fine, but he's not so bad...I think. [i.e. dish, Natalie. The doors open though and people begin to file in to get their soup. It's cool, he can multitask.]
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[The most intense thousand yard stare.]
We had to sprint out of the restaurant where they did the chili pepper thing because he made me break one of their plates and possibly ruin their wallpaper. Also, he wouldn't wear the Santa costume so I had to awkwardly lower my voice for several hours.
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How did he make you break a plate and ruin wallpaper? You'd think the Santa costume would be less embarrassing than the elf costume though. [But luckily their guests have their own bowls, so John's reaching forward to start ladling up soup.]
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[It is at least a little funny. Either way, she's reaching forward to do the same to anyone who comes by and asks for chicken noodle.]
Okay, so, like... He didn't realize that we could still tell when things are spicy, so he shoved like five peppers into his mouth at once, and then got mad that I didn't stop him, so he shoved the plate at me. Obviously I tried to get it away, except when I did it kind of hit the wall and shattered. I don't know if any of the pieces tore the wallpaper, but we ran out after that. [But that last part gets a fervent nod.] Right? He makes no sense.
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Somehow that is actually even more hilarious than I pictured. [Also I hate that you and Kyuu keep writing things where Kyuu's character throws shit for yours and it damages a wall.] As long as ReVA doesn't find out it was you guys you're probably okay. You still have a lot left to do with him?
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[She says, between offering smiles and spooning more soup into bowls.]
We left really quickly, so fingers crossed, I guess. We've just got the soup one left at this point, which is at least harder to ruin? So there's that.
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[This assault on her honor!!]
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[wow]
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[smh]
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[#no]
Maybe I'll switch to pie. Seems like less trouble sometimes.
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Pie is actually pretty troublesome, too. At least broccoli never broke the door to my car.
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[???]
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[Serving soup, serving soup.] ...I'm talking to him tonight, by the way.
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[She nearly pauses in her ladeling for a moment, glancing over at him.]
Seriously? Dude, nice! Fingers crossed.
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