John! [ he promised and now he is Breaking his promise - no okay he's back but it was still enough of a break for lil-cal-bro-whatever to go to attack.
without his hand in john's, though, dave can flashstep: he does so, and jumps back after the clash, knowing full well he doesn't have the physical edge on the puppet man here either. why is everyone stronger than him. ]
What, like it's my fault you allotted a hammer to your strife specibus? [ I MEAN - ] Dude, you have none of your shit, can you just - oh my god you have got to be kidding me.
[ what if
WHAT IF
we also add some smuppet/imp combo enemies to this entourage. ]
Sorry! [He's wielding the hammer and he has literally no idea what the fuck is going on. He sticks as close as he can but he's also swinging like a baseball bat to aim a hit at the puppet.]
We can argue about this stupid thing later, what shit am I missing? Because if you mean my ability to fly, yes, I know that!
[...but cool. That's good. That's nice.]
...puppets. Definitely not cool. Think we can beat 'em?
Your ability to use your damn hammer right would be a start, classpect bullshit a strong middle, and goddamned divinity a finish!
[ but fine. john has a weapon and dave slides back towards him, just taking up a position at john’s back; he’s terrified john doesn’t have enough back for this but he can at least try to trust his back to his best friend. it gives him blind spot coverage. ]
Fuck you, puppets are chill. These fuckers ain’t though - try to focus on the slower ones. I’ll try to handle Cal.
It's a hammer! How hard can it be to use a hammer? [He narrows his eyes though because what the fuck is classpect bullshit but divinity--] Holy shit, are we gods? Is that--fuck, never mind, we can talk about this later.
[He's also terrified so that makes two of them. But he's holding his ground and they're back to back slowly being surrounded by smuppet imps and Cal zipping around.]
Uh huh, sure, whatever. I can do that. Try not to get impaled? I kind of like you alive.
I’m not gonna get impaled, give me some credit. [ like he definitely has gotten impaled before it’s fiene this is fine probably.
but to fight the puppet thing he’ll have to break away from john a little to keep pace while still sticking in range. it’s weird being this worried when Before he would have just assumed egbert was leagues ahead of anything he could do.
it won’t take him long to start assuming that again. ]
You're not giving me credit, so! [Seriously this is the dumbest time to pick to be stubborn. The smuppet imps grow closer and he's trying to keep an eye on Cal before he nods firmly.] We can do this if you just trust me a little.
[He has zero idea what he's doing, but he's going to swing and hope for the best, mostly.]
If I have to try to kiss you by the end of this I'm going to rekill you. [ is his annoyed counterpoint to that. it's mostly muttered.
...
and anyway it's the strilondes who usually needed that resuscitation.
but all right. give john some credit. with an annoyed glance sideways (it's concern and panic, but details) dave focuses in on the battle, automatically reaching for his sense of time. it's weird (asleep? outside of time? who the fuck knows, but he's unwilling to accept death if someone else would have to, too) and he doesn't start a loop but he picks up his speed to match bro-cal. ]
Why would you--I am not into necrophilia, and I think we need to have a long discussion about your dead obsession when we wake up.
[But okay. He weighs the hammer before he realizes he needs both hands, wrapping them firmly around the handle and nodding. The moment Dave unleashes a burst of speed John launches at some of the imps, immediately swinging the hammer back and forth. To his surprise, it bounces and he finds himself missing his targets at first. It bounces in his arms a few times before he gets the clue that it needs to move back and forth like a seesaw and he turns, holding it more like an axe than a baseball bat and launching into a volley of attacks. Hopefully that will buy Dave enough time for the puppet-man.]
[ well, kind of. the issue here is this is very much dave's nightmare. in real life and in his dreams, he never stood a shot in hell against bro, or cal. a combination remix of the two in the place where he never wins means he can keep pace, barely, but it's not quite enough.
he reaches for his sense of time to pull out a loop and swears when it just doesn't work. is that because it's a dream or because it's impossible to win?
it has to be at least possible to get out of this alive, even if he gets his ass kicked, and there's not a curse when he gets cut the first time but simply an adjustment of form to accommodate the injury. ]
[He's going pretty bounce-happy with Wrinklefucker now that he's getting in the groove, brutalizing imps one after the other. He doesn't even notice that Dave gets cut the first time and he's using the skills he's honed in his real life and the hammer to take care of the smaller guys. An imp gets smashed here. Another one gets booted off the roof there. The hammer itself charges up and a large flare of green light overtakes the roof and obliterates a large wave of monsters before he pays attention to Dave again.]
Dude! [Dave are you bleeding, are you okay, where the fuck is Cal-bro because John's already zipping back to Dave's side for defense.] How do we beat that?
- I don't know! [ he doesn't even care about the cut, or any of the other cuts he may have gotten since. that's not the scary part. ] I never do!
[ and that isn't the scary part either? he's used to being resigned to a loss, always. what he's not used to is someone else having to take part in that loss. ]
I don't know how to change it! [ it's his nightmare, and he's never beaten it. hell, he's never even beaten bro, which is half as whatever as this weird amalgamation puppet thing. ] You have to try to wake up.
[ ...........because if he's here alone at least only he gets beat up? ]
[He gives him an incredulous stare, clenching his jaw and gripping the hammer tighter.]
And just leave you here? I do not think so! There has to be a way to break the cycle, Dave. It's just a dream. [...] If you wake up, we can both get out of here, I bet. [He moves suddenly, swinging Wrinklefucker and knocking another imp off of the roof.]
For once in your life will you please be a little less noble and a little more - [ he breaks off as he fucks up again, dodging some of bro-cal's stupid shuriken (why) but missing the follow up. it's not lethal so it gets nothing more than an annoyed noise as he shifts his sword to his other hand, deciding his left arm is a loss for the time being. ]
No. Whatever the fuck you are suggesting, the answer is no! We are doing this together. [There's a startled sound as Bro-Cal attacks again and he's ready to jump ahead but Dave's already hit. The situation's getting worse especially now that Dave's down an arm and he shakes his head frantically.]
Gee, I don't know, click your heels together? [It's sarcastic but he's scared and stressed, weighing the hammer in his hands.] There has to be something to jar you awake. Think awake thoughts? [He glances at the roof's edge though.] ...what if we jump?
[ great cool that's maybe a poor life choice but dave figures out this much: dreams tend to end when you hit the end of them. and john said jar you awake and there's one obvious and easy way to combine the two concepts. and this can't be real, can it, because his sense of time is all over the place and bro-cal never existed, or these smuppet things, and john's eyes are blue here.
so as soon as he glances over and doesn't see blue, dave drops his sword and blocks the next blow from bro's supposedly unbreakable anime katana (he remembers it did break, once, but that wasn't bro's sword) with himself.
his fight or flight reaction has been fucked for years (months?) and he's hardwired at this point to choose options that do not give his own life any inherent value when compared to the people who actually matter and there's just a quiet intake of breath as he deals with the sword sliding through his chest before the world shatters to pieces.
the remembered pain of being impaled with a sword (and he's lived that memory before, remembers waking up after dying) with the nightmare bro-cal staring into his shaded eyes from a centimeter away with goddamned soulless puppet eyes is enough to wake dave up and throw him back into being awake.
it was possibly the worst possible method to take but. when he does wake up it's all at once and without any noise, though his hand immediately goes to his chest where the sword had gone through moments before.
[You know. Even with his eyes shut the sound of a sword impaling someone still makes a noise and he flinches. It doesn't give him enough time to open his eyes or even react before he feels himself suddenly jolting awake, scrambling to sit up and stare across the room to Dave's own bed.
He doesn't say anything until he sees Dave's hand move and even then...]
...Dave? [It's the only thing he says as he continues to watch him, already shifting like he's about to get up.]
[ his heart is racing but his breathing is already locked down and even, even as his hand slides up from his chest to press at his eyes under his shades.
john's awake. so that worked. thank god. ]
...What's up, buttercup? [ and dave's voice doesn't so much as waver, quiet and to all appearances calm in the dark of the room, though he's anything but. ]
[Jesus. Holy shit, that's...the nightmare was a lot, and he knows the thing is that the place was real. LOHAC. Dave had referenced LOHAC to him before when John was drunk and dizzy and curled around him, when they talked about past lives and not knowing how to remember things right. Is that what he dreams? Things he doesn't remember right.
His own breathing is quiet and a little shallow as he debates. You don't have those kind of nightmares for no reason and not for the first time he wonders what happened in their world to cause this kind of chaos. He watches him as best as he can in the dark before he shakes his head almost sadly.]
I'm getting up, okay? [He doesn't know why he's saying it. A warning, maybe, and he slides out of his bed and carefully crosses the room to settle on Dave's bed. He doesn't touch him or anything, simply sitting close by. It might be too dark to see, but his eyes are gray again. This is real.] ...I get to make the plans next time.
[ dave doesn't flinch away, at least. he stops moving his hand beneath his shades and looks up at john, chest still rising and falling in an unnaturally even rhythm with no variation. he's controlling his breathing pattern without question. ]
...What other choice was there with an unbeatable boss? It worked, right?
[ and it was better than jumping from the roof, because dave's nightmares have always had pain in them and if he could, he would spare everyone else the deaths he has felt a thousand times over.
he learned from the time jade had to watch him die. he told john not to look. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
without his hand in john's, though, dave can flashstep: he does so, and jumps back after the clash, knowing full well he doesn't have the physical edge on the puppet man here either. why is everyone stronger than him. ]
What, like it's my fault you allotted a hammer to your strife specibus? [ I MEAN - ] Dude, you have none of your shit, can you just - oh my god you have got to be kidding me.
[ what if
WHAT IF
we also add some smuppet/imp combo enemies to this entourage. ]
no subject
We can argue about this stupid thing later, what shit am I missing? Because if you mean my ability to fly, yes, I know that!
[...but cool. That's good. That's nice.]
...puppets. Definitely not cool. Think we can beat 'em?
no subject
[ but fine. john has a weapon and dave slides back towards him, just taking up a position at john’s back; he’s terrified john doesn’t have enough back for this but he can at least try to trust his back to his best friend. it gives him blind spot coverage. ]
Fuck you, puppets are chill. These fuckers ain’t though - try to focus on the slower ones. I’ll try to handle Cal.
no subject
[He's also terrified so that makes two of them. But he's holding his ground and they're back to back slowly being surrounded by smuppet imps and Cal zipping around.]
Uh huh, sure, whatever. I can do that. Try not to get impaled? I kind of like you alive.
no subject
but to fight the puppet thing he’ll have to break away from john a little to keep pace while still sticking in range. it’s weird being this worried when Before he would have just assumed egbert was leagues ahead of anything he could do.
it won’t take him long to start assuming that again. ]
no subject
[He has zero idea what he's doing, but he's going to swing and hope for the best, mostly.]
no subject
...
and anyway it's the strilondes who usually needed that resuscitation.
but all right. give john some credit. with an annoyed glance sideways (it's concern and panic, but details) dave focuses in on the battle, automatically reaching for his sense of time. it's weird (asleep? outside of time? who the fuck knows, but he's unwilling to accept death if someone else would have to, too) and he doesn't start a loop but he picks up his speed to match bro-cal. ]
no subject
[But okay. He weighs the hammer before he realizes he needs both hands, wrapping them firmly around the handle and nodding. The moment Dave unleashes a burst of speed John launches at some of the imps, immediately swinging the hammer back and forth. To his surprise, it bounces and he finds himself missing his targets at first. It bounces in his arms a few times before he gets the clue that it needs to move back and forth like a seesaw and he turns, holding it more like an axe than a baseball bat and launching into a volley of attacks. Hopefully that will buy Dave enough time for the puppet-man.]
no subject
he reaches for his sense of time to pull out a loop and swears when it just doesn't work. is that because it's a dream or because it's impossible to win?
it has to be at least possible to get out of this alive, even if he gets his ass kicked, and there's not a curse when he gets cut the first time but simply an adjustment of form to accommodate the injury. ]
no subject
Dude! [Dave are you bleeding, are you okay, where the fuck is Cal-bro because John's already zipping back to Dave's side for defense.] How do we beat that?
no subject
[ and that isn't the scary part either? he's used to being resigned to a loss, always. what he's not used to is someone else having to take part in that loss. ]
I don't know how to change it! [ it's his nightmare, and he's never beaten it. hell, he's never even beaten bro, which is half as whatever as this weird amalgamation puppet thing. ] You have to try to wake up.
[ ...........because if he's here alone at least only he gets beat up? ]
no subject
And just leave you here? I do not think so! There has to be a way to break the cycle, Dave. It's just a dream. [...] If you wake up, we can both get out of here, I bet. [He moves suddenly, swinging Wrinklefucker and knocking another imp off of the roof.]
no subject
Fine, how the fuck do you wake someone up!
no subject
Gee, I don't know, click your heels together? [It's sarcastic but he's scared and stressed, weighing the hammer in his hands.] There has to be something to jar you awake. Think awake thoughts? [He glances at the roof's edge though.] ...what if we jump?
no subject
- but if he just has to wake up to get john out of here, and if they have to gamble with someone's life - ]
Close your eyes for a second.
no subject
...Dave? [An uncertain tone, too.] What are you planning?
no subject
[ because he's not sure how long he can fend off a nightmare. ]
Just do it!
no subject
So there's no verbal answer before he shuts his eyes.]
warnings: dave's a moron and this plan involves dying
so as soon as he glances over and doesn't see blue, dave drops his sword and blocks the next blow from bro's supposedly unbreakable anime katana (he remembers it did break, once, but that wasn't bro's sword) with himself.
his fight or flight reaction has been fucked for years (months?) and he's hardwired at this point to choose options that do not give his own life any inherent value when compared to the people who actually matter and there's just a quiet intake of breath as he deals with the sword sliding through his chest before the world shatters to pieces.
the remembered pain of being impaled with a sword (and he's lived that memory before, remembers waking up after dying) with the nightmare bro-cal staring into his shaded eyes from a centimeter away with goddamned soulless puppet eyes is enough to wake dave up and throw him back into being awake.
it was possibly the worst possible method to take but. when he does wake up it's all at once and without any noise, though his hand immediately goes to his chest where the sword had gone through moments before.
not real. right. ]
i cannot believe u
He doesn't say anything until he sees Dave's hand move and even then...]
...Dave? [It's the only thing he says as he continues to watch him, already shifting like he's about to get up.]
can't you
john's awake. so that worked. thank god. ]
...What's up, buttercup? [ and dave's voice doesn't so much as waver, quiet and to all appearances calm in the dark of the room, though he's anything but. ]
banned from the mod team bye?????
His own breathing is quiet and a little shallow as he debates. You don't have those kind of nightmares for no reason and not for the first time he wonders what happened in their world to cause this kind of chaos. He watches him as best as he can in the dark before he shakes his head almost sadly.]
I'm getting up, okay? [He doesn't know why he's saying it. A warning, maybe, and he slides out of his bed and carefully crosses the room to settle on Dave's bed. He doesn't touch him or anything, simply sitting close by. It might be too dark to see, but his eyes are gray again. This is real.] ...I get to make the plans next time.
unbans self
...What other choice was there with an unbeatable boss? It worked, right?
[ and it was better than jumping from the roof, because dave's nightmares have always had pain in them and if he could, he would spare everyone else the deaths he has felt a thousand times over.
he learned from the time jade had to watch him die. he told john not to look. ]
You didn't get hurt.
rude
So what, the answer was for you to take the hit instead? That is bullshit and you know it.
no subject
[ john isn't allowed to have the suicide missions.
dave reaches up suddenly, left hand steady, and barely touches john's cheek below his eye. ]
- Your eyes were blue again.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)