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[windeity]

JOHN EGBERT

"We came, we saw, we kicked its ass."

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

aka




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also casually puts his font here for tagging not on my laptop whoops
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normal font too!

art by doomyz on tumblr, found via reblog here

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[windeity]

I can handle myself fine, Dave. [He knows he doesn't have a weapon (that he knows of) but at the same time he's on the defense, too, and guarded.] But I'd need to be what?

[He notices the lack of an answer, but he doesn't press just yet.] I think Rose was mine. Right? It would explain a lot.

[parodeity]

John, I’m serious. Please promise me you won’t fuck off and you’ll stay near me.

[ he’d say behind him but attacks can come from any direction - ]

And yeah. Kinda not important right now. Promise??

[windeity]

...fine. Promise. [This is even worse.] Where are you planning on going? Your apartment is not exactly that large.

[parodeity]

The only way out is up, probably. If nothin’ else we can gate hop to hopefully somewhere a little less hot.

[ he likes heat but he means less...enemies... ]

[windeity]

I'll follow your lead then. I climbed up this far, so further up can't be that bad. [He's still on guard, biting his cheek.] Is this a dream or a memory, Dave?

[parodeity]

...I really wish I could say for sure. [ is this real or not? he knows it isn’t quite a memory, but - ] Either way? You’re actually here, right? Tell me something you haven’t before that I wouldn’t make up, I don’t know. It’s hard to tell but -

[windeity]

I am pretty sure I'm actually here? Uh. Fuck, I don't know.

[There's a weird pause.] Snapdragons? I did research, I think they fit the weird bill.

[parodeity]

Dude, I’d know my own favorite flower. Okay, this is actually ridiculous - even if you weren’t really here I wouldn’t ditch dream-you.

[ so it essentially doesn’t matter...anyway, he lets caledfwlch drop into his left hand and taps on john’s arm with his right. ]

...well, we may as well. Getting stuck in here seems like a great way to never “wake up”, always assuming we’re actually asleep?

[windeity]

I meant I didn't know, jackass. You didn't exactly make it clear what I was supposed to tell you. Dream me would not be any smarter than real me. I think.

[Hey there welsh sword. He looks at the weapon for a moment before he starts at the sudden tap.]

I would rather not get stuck here with--what's with all of the puppets, by the way?

[parodeity]

[ completely on automatic: ]

Pretty cool, right? Although kind of annoying if you want to just have some free space to hang...come oh, Egbert, there’s gonna be so many more of those before we finish climbing. Call it a paradox space requirement if you wanna. [ and he will lean out of his doorway, scanning the room before cautiously heading out into the main area again. ] You didn’t see any imps coming here?

[windeity]

I mean if pretty cool and pretty lame are synonymous for each other now, yes, they are. [He shakes his head but he stays behind Dave as instructed, trailing right behind him and keeping his guard up.]

I am also beginning to really question paradox space, but what else is new. I saw nothing...I think? [And then, reluctantly:] Kind of felt like I was being followed though.

[parodeity]

Puppets are cool and John Egbert is lame as fuck, text it.

[ but for all he looks casual when he moves, dave's attention is just. not on john. ]

...Well, fuck. Okay, we...need to pull the door open.

[ the hatch in the ceiling. dave seems a little reluctant.

probably because there are 100% smuppets waiting to drop down... ]

...Just...stay still while I do this.

[windeity]

More like that is the complete opposite? [Yeah, he's just. Saying. But okay he's still ready to apparently fight with his fists if he has to and he's not thinking of what they're talking about. He glances up at the ceiling and...]

Why is there a jigsaw piece on the hatch? And be careful, obviously.

[parodeity]

Aesthetic.

[ anyway, he dodges over to grab the string hanging down and pull it - which is accomplished via jumping because he doesn't have time to build a blanket fort, or rather doesn't want to - and then flashstep dodging the fuck out of the way of the puppet onslaught. ]

[windeity]

[He opens his mouth to say something but then it's raining plush puppet rumps and he's just. Staring. Like he's dead inside.]

You still want to argue that puppets are cool, dude?

[parodeity]

They're super cool. [ ... ] In...moderation.

[ the moderation that makes them cool is ZERO. regardless, this gets the ladder-stairs down and dave - swings around suddenly to scan the room, well aware something is flashstepping at the edge of his awareness, but unable to catch it.

god he hates lil cal. and bro. whichever fucker is out there. ]

...Stick close, move fast. Let's go.

[ they might not attack until he has open ground on the roof, if his nightmares are feeling particularly dramatic or kind. either or. ]

[windeity]

Uh huh. Sure. [But he's eyeing the ladder and he nods, stepping up to it and immediately looking like he's about to head up first.] How high are we climbing? Roof?

[parodeity]

[ HOW ABOUT NOT. dave flashsteps over to get ahead of john, shaking his head. ]

...Roof, yeah. If we don't...warp out? Wake up? From there - we can go through gate one and just keep hoppin' till we find somewhere less dumb. Your place or Rose's, maybe.

[windeity]

[GODDAMNIT.]

I think...this is your dream. So I think that is up to you? I'm not really sure how dream logic works. I lost track of you guys when I woke up last month. Either is fine. I remember enough of my house that I think we could jump a gate there?

[He sounds unsure but okay.] Let's get going.

[parodeity]

I remember enough about L - about your place that I'd fill in the blanks. Rose and Jade's too.

[ thanks dave...anyway he's heading to the roof but checking over his shoulder on john every so often? apparently? ]

[windeity]

Whatever you say, dream maestro. [Up the ladder he goes, keeping up with Dave at a reasonable pace and not seemingly bothered.]

Seriously, I will be fine. It has to only be a dream, right? Or something.

[parodeity]

Sure. Definitely haven't been warped real places before or anything...just do me a favor and try not to get hurt? I don't want to know if death is real here, especially when...

[ the backup body kiss thing may not work? so like. no.

upon reaching the last step dave hesitates for a brief moment before moving onto the roof. he slows down, and reaches his free hand back for john's arm almost without thinking about it, just...keeping john near him and behind him and within defensible range.

it's empty. but "empty" is never just that. ]

[windeity]

Hey, I was not here for August, remember? And this is probably different? I hope. Shit, we are technically kind of out of reality, too, aren't we? [There's an irritated noise.] I don't plan on getting hurt. You already saved my life once, I can handle the rest.

[Once they're on the roof though...he takes Dave's hand/arm because that weird feeling of being watched is back and that's not something he's comfortable with.]

...Dave? [The tone is suddenly unsure and unnerved and he stops walking.]

[parodeity]

[ why not his hand. if john actually reaches for that, dave will give him his right hand, sword in his left. he can use either, but given a preference he always goes left handed for sword.

frequently he uses it with two hands, but he can do one. ]

...Unfortunately, I think he's already here.

[ they need to get away from the door, dave realizes. it'd be easier if he could get john at his back with a weapon, or an actual wall, but it's too easy to get penned in at a wall anyway; with bro, with lil cal, you have to always be moving. and dave can't move as fast as he can move with john there, because he can't leave john behind and undefended. john's a weak point right now. he drags john out further, hand too tight, and can't decide where would be best for this.

there's a flicker-flash out of the corner of his vision again and dave flips his blade around to guard against it. it's not bro, he doesn't think - or it isn't bro that he can see. there's a glimpse of the goddamn grin lil cal has and he hates that puppet so fucking much. some amalgamation nightmare of an adult man lil cal, with a sword.

fun times, and nearly impossible to see right up until dave has to start flinging his free arm around to block strikes with his blade, backing up a step into john and then trying to stand his ground. ]

[windeity]

[That's gay, Dave.

But yeah okay no he's taking his hand and he's eyeing the sword and he's aware this is somehow weirdly familiar? He doesn't say anything and he slides his gaze back to Dave carefully.]

"He"?

[He doesn't know Dave's thoughtprocess and this time he sees the flicker and whips his head. The blade of Dave's sword is out and guarding and oh my god.

Oh my god what the fuck is this abomination. Dave's battling with a sword, Lil Cal also as a sword and he almost steps forward before remembering haha swords sure are sharp.

He wishes there were something he could do. If he had anything on his person this would be easier, but he just got the sylladex a few days ago. He doesn't know how the thing works, didn't bother telling Dave because he does not suck at this (he totally sucks at this, holy shit) and he doesn't even know that his strife deck is there and ready. He racks his brain for anything that might help and flings a couple of things out of his sylladex while maneuvering,

There goes his fucking phone, so that's good. Great. Awesome.

But the bright side is that under his phone is something John has never seen before and suddenly launching out of the sylladex is Wrinklefucker.

So that's fun.]