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[windeity]

JOHN EGBERT

"We came, we saw, we kicked its ass."

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

aka




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also casually puts his font here for tagging not on my laptop whoops
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normal font too!

art by doomyz on tumblr, found via reblog here

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10/03 night?? action??? lmk if it works i'm putting it here yes i do what i want

[parodeity]

[ it's been a lovely few days so of course that's getting shot to hell. when john "wakes up" he's going to find himself in LOHAC. it's hot, and there's lava as far as the eye can see, and the huge black gears that spin and float throughout the planet. it's a cityscape in a volcano, in the distance. closer by there is an apartment building that stretches far, far, far into the sky; it seems to have been built up higher than can be seen. john's at one of the lower levels of this building.

there's almost no noise by the ticking of gears, and there's a sense of intense unease and dread in the air, choking. somewhere in this landscape is another person sleeping, probably. somewhere in here are also probably memories or pieces of john's own mental landscape, but currently this is dominated by...well, dave.

climbing higher is probably the answer here, but he may want to take care. while there aren't currently any obvious enemies or dangers - beyond the lava and the heights and so on - this is not a welcoming place at all. ]

no never

[windeity]

[What in the fuck.

He eyes the area cautiously and he hears the faint tick and turn of gears and time and instinctually he knows this isn't somewhere he's supposed to be. He peers up at the building and he recalls a conversation from a past life. He was staring up at his own house, but it wasn't in a world like this.

So..what is this.

...he has to move forward and so he does. He has enough upper body strength to haul himself up to the first level to begin the climb, and even as he ascends he's eyeing the landscape nervously.]

...hello?

[parodeity]

[ there's no response for the moment, but there's a definite sense of Someone Being Around. this someone is not dave: in dave's nightmares, he is always hounded by the specter of bro or lil cal, just out of sight. there's a sense of someone watching, always, and it's a malignant sort of watching: no benevolence to be found here. john can try to catch a glimpse of whatever's following him, but at first there will be nothing but a flicker wherever it shows up.

if he's lucky (LUCKY...) he might see lil cal sitting there innocently eventually, but.

dave's at least up at his apartment - the real dave, the living one, because there are probably dead daves to be found here since there always are. maybe john can avoid those, though. ]

[windeity]

[It makes his skin crawl and he's quick to move, continuing to climb as much as he can even as he glances over his shoulder.

He doesn't catch Lil Cal,thank god, but he looks up at the top and sees the building stacked on metal bars and he wonders how the hell anyone can live up there. He keeps his eyes on the building and ignores everything, though he gets about halfway before he pauses to look around again.

Where...the hell are they?]

[parodeity]

[ HELL, PROBABLY

eventually the apartment where dave actually fucking lives (lived?) will be a stop. it's a complete and total mess and why the absolute fuck are there this many puppets and weapons. pieces are hazy as if they're not properly or clearly remembered, but for the most part it's crystal clear.

there's a dark room lit only by the lava-scape outside the window, and there's definitely a person just sitting up against the bed with his arms around his knees and his face pressed into the same knees.

mAYBE he can just try to sit through the bullshit. if he leaves his room, he knows he's going to get caught up in some absolute horseshit trap or training or whatever the fuck.

this seems like a dumb idea that probably won't work but ok dave ]

[windeity]

[I mean yes. But he'll finally finish the climb and he'll find the door, letting himself into the apartment and just stopping in the doorway because uh. That's. Mm. No? Haha, no! He's immediately on guard as he enters the apartment and lets the door swing shut. He eyeballs the Saw marionette hanging from the ceiling and he suddenly remembers something.

"most horror films are ok
im not a fan of the saw franchise"

He opens his mouth to call out again, but that unnerving feeling of being watched looms and he shuts his mouth again. Instead, he steps around puppets and weapons and heads for the other bedroom. Standing in the doorway, he's staring for a moment before he takes in his surroundings.

...an apartment. Turntables. Dave?]

...you know. [It's very low, meant to be calm and not startle the shit out of him.] Usually when I am hiding from stuff I make a blanket fort. Seems to help a little.

[parodeity]

[ and just think, if john had touched a single goddamned thing in the other room he might have learned why dave was insisting he not set up pranks in the room. there are always traps and pitfalls and he did hear someone moving around but he figured it for another dave or some imps; bro doesn't make noise.

dave freezes very slightly but raises his head to knock back against the bed. he makes a face, casual, like this is all normal and fine. ]

You shouldn't be in here. [ now he has to figure out if it's real-not-real john; but it looks like the john he shares a dorm with, and not a thirteen or sixteen year old figment. ] And I'm not hidin', I'm just avoiding dumbass imp battles.

[windeity]

[He raises an eyebrow.] No? I sort of figured I was absolutely supposed to be in...wherever. Hell? Gears and cogs land? Whatever. [He squints a little.]

...the Medium? This does not look the same as it did in my memory with Rose. [...] Did you say imps.

[parodeity]

Well it ain’t your planet or hers, now, is it? Welcome to Lohac.

[ he’s low key freaking out about what john might glean from this but it’s fine ]

You totally messed up the naming scheme. Land of Heat and Clockwork. And yes of course I said imps. What else?

[windeity]

I don't know, I don't remember enough about the game and the Medium yet to really know what all of this means. Also, imps sound stupid. Are the imps in Lohac stupid, Dave?

[He's pretty uncomfortable, yeah. He's listening for everything around them, but he'll enter the room at least.]

[parodeity]

...they’re the same imps everywhere, bro, they just get more and more prototyped. So yeah, mostly.

[ dave looks up and past john, out the door. it registers in actuality then that john is here and dave slides to his feet, reaching out for john’s wrist to tug him further into the room and behind dave. ]

Shit. You’re not you yet - are you okay?

[windeity]

[He's about to protest but Dave moves and he lets him take him by the wrist to drag into the room. He's busy eyeballing the room and...it feels oddly surreal.]

I'm fine, but who the hell built up your house? One of us? [He shakes his head.] I am slightly more me than I was a few days ago. Are you okay?

[parodeity]

Jade was my server player - and you can’t just wander around in the Medium without a weapon, asshole. [ he does drop john’s wrist as soon as john is in dave’s defensible range, and he runs a hand through his hair, aggravated. ] Don’t...get too far away from me. You’re not the team powerhouse right now, and you’d need to be...

[ he skips the question about him and wonders if they can force themselves awake or if he has to go where he seriously doesn’t want to in order to get john the fuck out. it isn’t safe for anyone here, really. ]

[windeity]

I can handle myself fine, Dave. [He knows he doesn't have a weapon (that he knows of) but at the same time he's on the defense, too, and guarded.] But I'd need to be what?

[He notices the lack of an answer, but he doesn't press just yet.] I think Rose was mine. Right? It would explain a lot.

[parodeity]

John, I’m serious. Please promise me you won’t fuck off and you’ll stay near me.

[ he’d say behind him but attacks can come from any direction - ]

And yeah. Kinda not important right now. Promise??

[windeity]

...fine. Promise. [This is even worse.] Where are you planning on going? Your apartment is not exactly that large.

[parodeity]

The only way out is up, probably. If nothin’ else we can gate hop to hopefully somewhere a little less hot.

[ he likes heat but he means less...enemies... ]

[windeity]

I'll follow your lead then. I climbed up this far, so further up can't be that bad. [He's still on guard, biting his cheek.] Is this a dream or a memory, Dave?

[parodeity]

...I really wish I could say for sure. [ is this real or not? he knows it isn’t quite a memory, but - ] Either way? You’re actually here, right? Tell me something you haven’t before that I wouldn’t make up, I don’t know. It’s hard to tell but -

[windeity]

I am pretty sure I'm actually here? Uh. Fuck, I don't know.

[There's a weird pause.] Snapdragons? I did research, I think they fit the weird bill.

[parodeity]

Dude, I’d know my own favorite flower. Okay, this is actually ridiculous - even if you weren’t really here I wouldn’t ditch dream-you.

[ so it essentially doesn’t matter...anyway, he lets caledfwlch drop into his left hand and taps on john’s arm with his right. ]

...well, we may as well. Getting stuck in here seems like a great way to never “wake up”, always assuming we’re actually asleep?

[windeity]

I meant I didn't know, jackass. You didn't exactly make it clear what I was supposed to tell you. Dream me would not be any smarter than real me. I think.

[Hey there welsh sword. He looks at the weapon for a moment before he starts at the sudden tap.]

I would rather not get stuck here with--what's with all of the puppets, by the way?

[parodeity]

[ completely on automatic: ]

Pretty cool, right? Although kind of annoying if you want to just have some free space to hang...come oh, Egbert, there’s gonna be so many more of those before we finish climbing. Call it a paradox space requirement if you wanna. [ and he will lean out of his doorway, scanning the room before cautiously heading out into the main area again. ] You didn’t see any imps coming here?

[windeity]

I mean if pretty cool and pretty lame are synonymous for each other now, yes, they are. [He shakes his head but he stays behind Dave as instructed, trailing right behind him and keeping his guard up.]

I am also beginning to really question paradox space, but what else is new. I saw nothing...I think? [And then, reluctantly:] Kind of felt like I was being followed though.

[parodeity]

Puppets are cool and John Egbert is lame as fuck, text it.

[ but for all he looks casual when he moves, dave's attention is just. not on john. ]

...Well, fuck. Okay, we...need to pull the door open.

[ the hatch in the ceiling. dave seems a little reluctant.

probably because there are 100% smuppets waiting to drop down... ]

...Just...stay still while I do this.